ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½

Hi there. I hope everyone is well and happy.

We have some exciting guests in this weeks episode. Any Come Dine with Me fans? I love that show. Well, in this episode we only have Dave Lamb, the voice of Come Dine with Me. He plays Colin the Businessman. Very funny and also one of the nicest men I know.

The girls on the show this week all went a bit funny because of another guest. We had sexy Luke Pasqualino from Skins. No disrespect to Dave Lamb of course - I am sure there were just as many women going funny for him too. But Luke does happen to be 20 and incredibly, well, lovely. In the studio for this episode we had a hotel room set, so there was a bed, and at various intervals I would see women unashamedly asking Luke to lie on the bed and have their photograph taken with them. I think that might have included Patricia Hodge. Not a way to treat a guest actor. Very bad form. (I have my photo on my beside table.)

This week's episode is the directors (the fabulous Juliet May) favourite script. And I think the one I probably enjoyed doing the most. That could have been something to do with the dancing to Billy Joel. Enjoy...

P.S. The toy duck in the clip is mine, and it amuses me every time. Sometimes when writing from home and hitting a bad patch, I would get out the duck for cheering purposes. Me, unhinged? How dare you.

Miranda (the sitcom) continues tonight at 8.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more from Miranda (the lady) before each episode here on the Comedy Blog.

writes......

So here's the first No More Women, a series of videos we've made for ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Comedy online alongside our new quiz show We Need Answers - which starts tomorrow on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Four by the way!

No More Women is a name game. The first player has to name a celebrity, e.g. 'John Prescott', then a category which they fall into and must subsequently be avoided - e.g. 'No More Politicians'. The opponent then names another celebrity who is not a Politician. As more and more categories are added it gets harder, and eventually impossible, to name anyone new.

But first, let me introduce the 'other two': (Host of the quiz and stand-up of some note, despite various physical shortcomings) and (Question Master and ageing shambles) invented No More Women which I've gradually managed to worm my way into.
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Being the least successful but most organised of the three of us, I can do things like writing this blog.ÌýOn the TV show, I operate computers while the other two prance around like toddlers. But that's fine.

No More Women is an excellent game and one that deserves a prestigous setting; I filmed this first episode in a sort of picnic area of the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ where you sometimes see celebrities (normally Stephen Merchant or some of the Strictly dancers smoking).
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The game itself requires memory and invention (rather than ball skills, dice, luck or wrestling moves). It's fun to play and, maybe, entertaining to watch. Once you've seen one encounter you can certainly play it yourselves. Read on for the full rules. Mark and Tim even let me play it too on the odd occasion (usually when I'm driving them somewhere to attend something or other).
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As you'll notice, Mark takes the game very seriously. Tim does too but he sometimes takes his eye off the ball and tries to make Mark laugh. Like I say, he's an ageing shambles. But sometimes his distracting tactics work and Mark falters. I guess it's a bit like snooker. Or chess. Or arguing.
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Hopefully it'll end up with as much of a presence in everyday life in Britain as all of the above. It's better than the news, I think.

There'll be more No More Women next week.

Alex Horne is one of the presenters of We Need Answers, which starts tomorrow at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Four. He is one of the tallest comedians on the circuit at 6'11" and his favourite trainers are yellow.

Read the rest of this entry

This might feel like the end of the week to you, but actually it's just the start. The start of... ROBIN COOPER WEEK!

But what exactly do we mean by that? Here's the man himself (yes, Robin is a man) to explain:
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Hello, it's Robin Cooper here. How are you? I'm in fine fettle. In fact, so fine a fettle am I in, that I've just whistled thrice.

Anyway, a little while back I received a letter saying that I had physically won 615,810 Euros in the Spanish Lottery. Congratulations!Ìý So I phoned the man, a gentleman by the name(s) of Don Luis Lopez to find out how I could get all my winnings...
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This video depicts the first in a series of genuine phone calls between Mr Cooper and Don Luis Lopez:

If you liked that, just wait until you see what happened next. That won't be long, either - we'll be publishing a new Robin Cooper phone call every day next week on Comedy Extra.

Robin who?

Robin Cooper is, of course, the infamous creation of comedy polymath . Cooper has been on the wrong end of many a broadcast telephone conversation, from to , and wrote the series.

As well as inhabiting the skin of his hi-pitched alter-ego, Robert Popper co-created Look Around You with Peter Serafinowicz, produced the third and fourth series of Peep Show, and .

Watch out all of next week for the newest Robin Cooper phonecalls on Comedy Extra.

Monday 30th - Call 2: A couple (i.e 2) days later
Tues 1st Dec - Call 3: A few days later (i.e. 3)

I like the idea of ebuy, or whatever that website's called, but it's not so easy to use when your feedback rating hits rock bottom. Do they not realise I'm the bloody King of England? I'm trying to buy my sixth (and second favourite) wife an Epilady. She says to wait and buy it for her as a Christmas present but the truth is I can't leave it that long. I mean, she's lovely and everything but she is so terribly fuzzy around the leg areas. It's like sleeping next to a Brillo pad. I probably shouldn't say that, she has just been a total love and presented me with a massive bowl of luxury ice-cream with extra nutty bits and a bakewell tart on top. But no, I must get her some shaving equipment if domestic equilibrium is to return to the Tudor household.

I think the trouble with ebuy started when I decided to sell my "Ten Step Fat Attack" DVD. I shifted it in the first day to some bunter in the west country who'd been a little over-enthusiastic with the doughnuts, but I forgot to remove the item from my "For Sale" inventory. When I sold it again the following morning I thought I could improvise a solution and thus greatly increase my profit margin. It turns out that a print-out of a Mr Motivator routine is not deemed as useful in the fat-fighting stakes as the DVD was and I was promptly cussed to within an inch of my online membership. Some nerdy git with a face like a slapped arse even dared to write that from the look of my avatar I should maybe have kept the DVD and used it myself to lessen the considerably porky chops I was sporting. I believe he is inciting a 'flame war' which in my book means he's practically asking me to have him burnt at the stake.
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So the problem of buying and selling through this pox-ridden site remains. And it's such a shame since I recently discovered that I own the rights to St James' Park in central London. Apparently I bought it as a hunting ground way back when. If I could only pop that online with a tag of, say, a couple of million, it would keep us both in Vienettas and Ladyshaves for a good long while - with enough left over for an Xbox.

- H8

More pieces of 8.0

Pieces of 8.0

A sneak preview of what you can expect from the recently rediscovered king.



The Book of Faces

Henry gets into a spot of bother with the King of France on Facebook.

• 
  

Brian Blessed plays King Henry 8.0 in our new web-exclusive series. Watch more every Thursday on Comedy Extra.

Henry 8.0 is written by Mark Davison and Glen Long and is a production for ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Comedy.

There's a doctor in the house, so be quiet. It's Dr. Firth, and I get paid more than you. I shall answer your questions no matter how worthless they are.

Letter from Wanda:

Do champions use drugs?

Wanda, listen to me very carefully. I'm not only a doctor, but also a scientist, and I have a fair amount of darts trophies - which makes me a champion of sorts, wouldn't you agree? (please don't respond to that, I don't waste time on follow ups).

Most of my life I've been chasing the dragon, and I think I'm gaining on him. He was last seen in Huddersfield. So my answer is probably yes, but it's a narrow yes, surrounded by possible uncertainty. I have recently been developing a new drug that may actually help people win the lottery. This would usher in a whole new era of drug-taking champions, but also may de-value the pound I've been told. However it was an armchair economist that told me that so I'm not 100%. I realise you may not have understood all my doctory jargon there, so my short answer is a capitalised YES.

January Jones says: I have been addicted to other peoples' test results for a few years now. Sure, it can be an inconvenience at times, but apart from that I have experienced no negative side effects.

Kelvin in Otley says: I started writing a book once, but never got around to finishing it.

- Thanks chaps.

Letter from Keith Braggit:

Last night I dreamt I was a slave in a Colombian brothel. Is there any drug I can take to dream the exact same thing tonight? I feel I have unfinished business there.

Keith, I would usually recommend every drug I know of, regardless of negative side effects or whether they would work, but in this case I would advise you to stay sober. My best advise would be to get a ticket to Colombia and find that brothel. You may end up walking into the greatest opportunity of your life. You weren't very specific in your question but I think I know what you're talking about.

Letter from a Staffordshire Lad:

I took a boatload of old drugs I found, and dreamt up the idea of "tinned sandwiches". Do you think I should take this idea on Dragons' Den or just try and raise the money myself?

Well lad, your first mistake was telling me, because I'm a patent whore. I'm also a patient whore, and sit for hours not selling myself, but allowing myself to sell itself without advertisement. Have I confused you? Of course I have, because I'm a doctor, and I've just patented the greatest idea you've ever had.
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To upgrade your brain on this subject slightly, my resident moving pictures expert Jerry Jackson has prepared a small animated offering:

More from David Firth on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Comedy

• Doctor Firth and Jerry Jackson examine boredom
• David Firth's videos on Comedy Extra
  

Doctor Firth and Jerry Jackson are the twisted brainwrongs of who animated the severely creepy web phenomenon , introduced the notorious to the world, and a whole lot more.

Bonjourno to you (Italian). How have you been? I've missed you.

Hopefully the fact that you are reading this, means you are in to the show. Hurrah for you and thank you. This week's episode is about braving the gym, realising it's not for me, then desperately trying to get out of the gym membership. Filming the montage of attempting the gym was worryingly exhausting, although I would like to point out that the sweat on my t-shirt was fake. I was sprayed with water under the pits etc - it was rather nice on a hot June filming day.

The yoga ball 'stunt' in this episode...Ìý I like to think it is stunt work. Call me Michael Crawford. The crew were really worried about me doing it. I said I am going to put two yoga balls slightly apart, run up to them, my torso will be on the front one and my legs on the second and I will travel across the gym. They asked how I knew it would be safe (insurance issues galore) and I had to admit I had done it before! Although I had done it with very large rolls of bubble wrap in an office when I was an office manager. (We all get our kicks somehow.) Go on, when you are next at the gym, I dare you...Ìý Ìý

Enjoy this weeks ep do.ÌýÌý Ìý

Miranda (the sitcom) continues tonight at 8.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more from Miranda (the lady) before each episode here on the Comedy Blog.

Now you might have expected that, like last week this blog would have been written by Jonathan Harvey (the writer of the show) but he has come up with an excuse which, as excuses go, is even better than "the dog ate my homework".

His excuse is - wait for it - "I broke my internet!" Purlease! Anyway, it means that you get the musings of the Exec Producer of Beautiful People, me. Before you ask, the answer to the question "what does an Executive Producer do exactly?" is "turn up at the location for lunch and laugh". Both of those things were easy on this show because we had fantastic catering from caterers who were very funny.

Anyway, on to the episode in which we got to recreate the Eurovision Song Contest of 1998 which was held in Birmingham and hosted by Terry Wogan and Ulrika Jonson. Now I realise that the first broadcast of this episode is on Children in Need night so there may be quite a lot of Woganphobes in our audience, desperately trying to escape newspeople using charity as an excuse to do other peoples' jobs, badly.

Panic not - he only appears for a second near the end but it is quite an important second because at the songfest in question, the winner was Israeli man-become-woman Dana International and on that night in 1998 there was a big gap between the announcement of her winning and her appearance to reprise the winning song- (Viva La Diva, if you care). Jonathan (I broke my internet) Harvey has imagined what was going on backstage. Obviously it was to do with Simon and Kylie who had locked themselves in the disabled toilet backstage just as Ms International wanted to change frock. Obviously.

By the magic of brilliant Location Manager and a persistent Producer we recreated the Birmingham concert in an empty Wembley Arena with the real Dana International flown in from Israel for the shoot and not looking a day older. Empty Wembley was just plain spooky because the normal TV circus you need to shoot the show looked tiny in vastness of the Arena - the Arena that we kept being reminded has a swimming pool underneath, which made it feel spooky and slightly dangerous. Needless to say the ghosts of Cher and Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi and their audiences were kind and we got out unscathed and dry.

One of the other joys of this episode for me are the gay neighbours - or "gaybours" as Debbie would have them - played by Tom Paine and Rory Kinear. We were fantastically lucky to get them. Rory especially is one of the busiest and best actors on the planet who is going to play Hamlet next year at the National Theatre. If his portrayal of 'Ross Kemp' for us is anything to go by, the Dane will be magnificent. He and Tom just make brilliant choices about what they do with characters and with lines. Watch Rory trying to pick up Andy and see what he does with 'Sleepy Bunny'!

Thank you for reading, watching and being fabulous!

More Beautiful People

• on Flickr
• Watch the making of the Doonan's Eurovision song on Comedy Extra

Jon Plowman is Executive Producer of Beautiful People, which continues tonight at 9.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two.

Richard Bacon writes...

In the same week that I interviewed Armando Iannucci on my real 5 live programme, my closest friend Marc spoke to him on XFM. As huge TV comedy fans in general (and Armando in particular), we met at the weekend to compare notes. I remember him saying, "When Armando's sitting opposite you, don't you wish he'd write you in to something?".

"Ha ha. Ha ha ha..." is how I started my call to Marc a month later. Not only had Armando stuck me in this show but elements of it are inspired by that late night trip to 5 live.

Marc, try harder next time. Perhaps you could try interrupting the interview at regular intervals to say, "coming next, are clowns funny?". He seemed to like that. Then, towards the end, have a clown in full regalia sit next to him. That's what I did.

The first script meeting was exciting. It had a fallen-down-the-rabbit-hole feel to it. Not only was I watching Peter Capaldi bring Malcolm Tucker to life in front of me but these fictional characters (that I love) were using my name. Oh my God I'm talking to Peter Mannion (pictured). And Terri. They're real. I can touch them (I didn't).

The toys in the toy cupboard had come to life.

I remember ringing a friend afterwards and saying I'd have been no less excited if somebody had given me a part in Fawlty Towers (actually that friend was Marc, felt like rubbing chilli salt into his jealousy wound).

Having never done any acting, I have nothing to compare this experience to - but the process was fascinating.

The first draft the cast saw was the fifth one. Everyone initially read word for word what was on the page. The next day we returned, only this time the script was more of a guide. Armando and the other writers took notes as everyone improvised (this meant I could hold sustained conversations with them when they were in character. Boss. I once did some thing similar with Jon Culshaw's Dale Winton impression in a pub. He didn't like it. I did).

The final script incorporated some of those adlibs and the process, as scripted, then looser, was repeated in front of the cameras.
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Armando is very calm and laid back as he directs. All the cast are delightful. I spent so long interviewing Rebecca Front and Roger Alam (Murray and Mannion) that it became indistinguishable from a real radio programme.

Peter Capaldi is warm, mild mannered, courteous and charming. You really couldn't accuse him of playing himself. Unlikely anyone would send him a c*** cake.

In the scene where he bollocks my producer he came up with different terms of abuse for every take. Funny every time. Astonishing to watch.

And as with every episode of The Thick of It there's an awful lot of decent material that didn't make it: one of my favourite lines in the script involved Mannion and Phil talking about a "shit sandwich" and the reaction one might have upon tasting it. If anyone involved in the compilation of the DVD extras is reading this, please include it. Thanks.

For the record (grandly implying that anyone cares) my favourite characters are Terri and Glenn. Give them a spin off. But for God's sake make it better than Joey.
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Richard Bacon will be interviewing The Thick of It's Chris Addison on his show tonight from 10.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Radio 5 live.

Out of The Thick of It
Another chance to see this week's Red Button bonus material:




Watch Peter Mannion and Nicola Murray's 5 live debate on The Thick of It this Saturday at 10.20pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more about The Thick of It on the Comedy Blog.

That's right. It's coming back. Head over to the Psychoville website for a special announcement.






The following contains spoilers, so don't read on if you haven't seen the final episode of series one...

Read the rest of this entry

• Ladybird Ladybird in Arson Probe
• Shoe Woman in Fertility Trials
• 'I Defied Hunting Ban' says Bunting Baby DadÌý Ìý

Here's something new to look forward to as you hibernate this Christmas: The News at Bedtime.

Inspired by their column for Private Eye, writers Ian Hislop and Nick Newman have created an in-depth news analysis programme covering the latest events... in the world of Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales.

The News at Bedtime is introduced by twin presenters John Tweedledum (Jack Dee) and Jim Tweedledee (Peter Capaldi) - who argue and disagree with everyone - and sometimes each other. They are not at all related to Humphrys and Naughtie.

This is serious broadcasting: The News At Bedtime addresses the zeitgeist issues of today and once upon a time; Humpty Dumpty's great fall, the worrying story of Jack and the Genetically Modified Beanstalk and the celebrity wedding of the owl to the pussycat, to name but three.

The series is produced by Simon Nicholls and will co-star Chris Addison, Lucy Montgomery, Vicki Pepperdine, Dan Tetsell, Lewis MacLeod and Alex MacQueen.

I was in the studio during recording, stealing biscuits, taking photos and snooping around, so look out for a photo gallery here on the blog in the next few weeks.

The News at Bedtime starts on Radio 4 this Christmas Eve.

The ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ College of Comedy scheme for training the comedy writers of the future launched in 2008, attracting support from leading writers including Armando Iannucci, Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong, Simon Nye, Jeremy Dyson, Susan Nickson and Hugo Blick.

Now ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Three has commissioned The Inn Mates, the first pilot to be developed through the scheme. Written by Manchester-based writer and comedian John Warburton, the script focuses on a group of people, some friends and some strangers, who eat Sunday lunch at The King's Ransom.

With the pub as a central location, the show also goes out and about to follow the lives of the regulars, who include a happily married couple; an unhappily married couple; a son trying to forge a relationship with his sperm donor dad; a 'free and easy' young woman in search of true love; two old women who haunt the smoking shelter; and a pair of community support officers whose dramatic fantasies will never be matched by reality.

John said, "I am incredibly chuffed the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ have decided to pilot this. Over the last 20 years I have spent a great deal of time drinking in pubs in the name of research and this means I can now claim the whole lot back against tax. The College of Comedy is a superlative scheme, it has been invaluable to me as a writer in terms of learning and support".

Congratulations John!

Read more about the development of The Inn Mates in a post by Creative Head of the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ College of Comedy Micheal Jacob over on the Writersroom blog.Ìý

Subscribers to our may already have spotted this - but here's a fun little thing we've come up with: your chance to generate your own Michael McIntyre routine.

Of course, it isn't really the illustrious Mr McIntyre, but Jon Culshaw in full flow for The Impressions Show. Have a play! Can you make it to the end...?

The Impressions Show continues on Saturdays at 9.35pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ One.

Well my friends, hello again. It's Monday - that can only mean one thing - you are beside yourself with excitement about seeing Episode Two of my show.

In the unlikely event that is the case then we have a little clip for you. Don't say I don't treat you right. And this clip involves a guest star from this episode. None other than Peter Davison. Yes, hark at me, I only got a Doctor to star in the show:

And for any Doctor Who fans out there (I don't want to stereo-type but I imagine those of you interested in blogs might have an interest in sci-fi) then I have tiny titbits for you. Sarah Hadland, who plays Stevie, ends up kissing Peter Davison in this episode, and that will be her second on screen kiss with a Doctor. She kissed David Tenant in Learners.Ìý And I can also reveal that Patricia Hodge once sucked Tom Baker's toe - although she didn't say whether that was professional or personal. Either way, the image isn't ideal, let's be honest.

I would also like you to know that the speech in tonight's episode about the sex education video was completely true - no wonder it wasn't until my mid-20s that I could talk to men without giggling shyly.

Till next week...Ìý have good ones all round please, and thank you to all the people who have been watching, are still watching and for all the lovely comments. It means a lot, as it turns out its quite scary having your own show out!

Miranda (the sitcom) continues tonight at 8.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more from Miranda (the lady) before each episode here on the Comedy Blog.

Joanna Scanlan writes...

Terri Coverley's natural habitat is the Buckingham Palace Garden Party. She's already been invited on six occasions. If Terri is not actually in attendance at The Palace, then she likes to dress as though she is, and luckily she can afford all those super jackets, because as a Senior Civil Servant she earns a good deal more than the Minister, even if she did take a pay cut when she was head hunted from Waitrose.

Ms Terri Coverley was born out of my own experience working for three years as the Combined Arts Officer at The Arts Council of Great Britain, as was, just round the corner from Millbank. I observed political chicanery amongst the sets of pearls and cut glass accents, even partaking in some myself. And most importantly for my understanding of the world of The Thick of It, I smelled the heady, seductive common-sense slaying wiff of POWER. Like diamorphine, it can take you on a dance through sedation, euphoria, tolerance and dependency, but like any opiate, you can OD all too easily - as all Terri's five previous Ministers have proved.

Terri herself, of course, has immunity to the dark arts, vaccinated by the fact she's not remotely interested in Politics. She'd rather take a wine tour round Bordeaux. Or discuss the latest Booker Prize nominees at her Tuesday night Book Group. All those personal insults that cascade through DoSAC are like water off a duck's back to her, and she simply doesn't hear the bad language, choosing to ignore the behaviour as you might an infant's tantrums.
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Never a true target of Malcolm's venomous spleen, Terri has enjoyed a 'Special Relationship'Ìý with him, mirrored in my own relationship with Peter Capaldi. So, when Jo Brand, Vicki Pepperdine and I were developing Getting On, I knew that I wanted to work with Peter. He's a true renaissance man. His fine eye for absurdity within the everyday, his compassion and his Scottish roots (I am from Wales) gave us an artistic meeting place.

Armando Iannucci has put together a team on The Thick of It that is maxxed out on talent behind, in front and sideways of the camera and what an inspiration it is to be a part of. Even if I do have to wear the colour-me-beautiful suits that match June's herbaceous borders at Buck House.

Out of The Thick of It

In case you missed it, here's the latest Thick of It bonus material from the Red Button:


The Thick of It continues on Saturday night at 10.10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two.

Hoorah, it's back! And even more fabulous than ever! I'm so glad the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ had the huge intelligence, wit and insight to bring Beautiful People back for a second series. It was such a laugh to write, and hopefully it will make you laugh too. If not, I can't promise you your license fee back, but if you ever bump into me in the street (I look a bit like Mr Bean, but with nicer slacks) then feel free to tell me 'You're just not funny Harvey'. A lot of people do.

In Episode One, Simon finds out that his Mum and Dad never got married, so he plans a big wedding for them, themed to one of his favourite movies (clue: It's not Die Hard II) and needless to say, the day doesn't go quite as planned. A wedding cake gets thrown, there's shocking news from Ashlene, and Kylie turns up in drag. (Okay, so that was planned, forgive me, I'm getting a bit carried away with myself).

Fans of Series One will be delighted to hear that the actress Tameka Empson is back. With a vengeance. You may remember in series one she played barmy hairdresser Tameka (I wrote the part for her, could you guess?) but we killed her off. Don't despair, this episode she reappears as her identical cousin Johoyo from Nigeria. A woman who often speaks in the third person. She too is a hairdresser (or so she says) and she is enlisted to do Debbie's hair for the big day.

Oh yes, one more thing, there are no scenes in New York this series. I wanted to free the bookends up, so each episode opens and closes with Older Simon now back in England, starting his life afresh. His boyfriend's dumped him so he's left New York and come home to stay with Mum. (Watch out for Olivia Colman ageing up to look 45. Boy can that girl work crow's feet)

I'm going to sign off for now, but I'll be back very soon to fill you in on the THRILLING goings on backstage with the... Beautiful People. 'til then, get a few mates in, crack open something pink, put your feet up and enjoy Episode One.

Behind the Scenes

• Browse our from Episode One.

Jonathan Harvey wrote Beautiful People. Series Two begins on Friday night at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two.

So here we are. It's show time. Episode One tonight.

Episode One was the pilot episode we recorded early 2008, although there have been a few changes since then. The main one was casting Patricia Hodge as Penny, my mother. I was thrilled she said yes. A little nervous too. She predominantly plays high status parts and I imagined she might be a little aloof and well, scary. Not at all thankfully.

Obviously the show is filmed in a studio in front of a live audience, but there are the odd bits that have to be filmed on location. Our first day on location we did the Episode One scenes. And that involved, as you will see tonight, the mother character fainting outside a shop in a busy high street. So on the first day's filming, it was "hello Patricia, lovely to meet you, thanks for doing this, now we just need you to faint on to this grubby Hounslow pavement - ok, action...".

I was amused to see someone sweeping the pavement before she had to lie on it. I thought, that's nice, I do lots of falling over in this show, perhaps that will be a precedent. Let me tell you - I have yet to be swept for. I am still waiting.

Hope you enjoy the show tonight. I can't believe it's going out (this has been years in the coming). My career either takes off or comes to a said end tonight...!

I want it to take off, principally so someone can sweep before I fall. I am gunning for a sweeping (not a euphemism).

Miranda (the sitcom) starts tonight at 8.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more from Miranda (the lady) before each episode here on the Comedy Blog.

Hi I'm Axel Peters, I'm creative director here at Chaos Laboratories. We're a forward-thinking company. We work at the cutting edge of the bio-tech revolution. We're developing stuff right here, right now, that you guys may not see for 20 or 30 years - unless it climbs out of a window!

Which brings me to the main reason I'm writing these words. Yesterday, something Dave was working on, may or may not have crawled off a lab desk, opened a heavy door, made it's way past our state of the art security system and out into the fields at the back. Now whoa! I'm not saying there's any danger as a direct result of this, no way! in fact it might not have even got out at all.

There's a chance it could well still be in the building somewhere - and when I say "it", "it" is a kind of red thing with thin legs and a beak - hard to explain but you'll know it when you see it, which hopefully you won't - so probably no worries on that score.

Steve on the front desk reckons he might have seen it round the back of the car park, but it could've been a chicken with a coat on, or a fox. Anyway I don't think we should panic about this as we've like 'misplaced' stuff in the past, and most of the time this shit is so biologically unstable the internal organs pack in after a few hours and all you've got left is a pile of mush which our expert retrieval team just hoover up and fling in a bin. Hey that's bio-genetic science, right?! You cant win 'em all. So ah yeah, try and ignore it, it's probably nothing...

Okay.

Great talking to you guys!









Also I'd like to take this opportunity to re-assure our shareholders that this shouldn't affect the end of year dividend stuff or the reputation of the company.

Great!

Well, hello to you. Welcome to my first entry for the blog, a word that will always faintly amuse.

Blog.

So, on Monday, my show will leave the womb of the edit suite and head on to ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two to be judged by the world. I have to call it 'my show' rather than its title Miranda because that feels very weird, being my name n' all. In meetings I have to ask people to call it "the sitcom" otherwise I hear "the thing about Miranda is...", or "when does Miranda finish?". And being in the office hearing people answer the phone "hello Miranda" will always be odd.

It was the producer's idea to call it Miranda, and ultimately I agreed it was right for the show, but it has an unnerving American over-confidence about it, which is not me. And talk about set yourself up for a potential fall! However, I am surprisingly calm about it going out.Ìý Whatever will be will be - if people find it and take it to their hearts then wonderful, but I am not expecting anything.

The pleasure, excitement, joy, plus inevitable dollop (another good word) of stress and fear, was making the show, and over the next few weeks I will blog little exclusives to you, my internet lovelies. I might reveal the answer to the question I get asked most ("which bits are auto-biographical?")Ìý and I will freely tell you secrets about my cast Patricia Hodge, Sally Phillips, Sarah Hadland, and Tom Ellis. They'll never know!

Till next week. Have a good one.

Miranda (the lady) will be back on the blog next week. Miranda (the sitcom) starts at 8.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two this Monday. Watch a preview clip from the first episode on Comedy Extra.Ìý

When it comes to contrasts, few shows can be quite so... contrasty as Balamory and The Thick of It.

Yet Miles Jupp has made his mark on both - as inventor Archie in Balamory (right) and incompetent press officer John Duggan in this Saturday's episode of The Thick of It (above). Quite an achievement.

The actor, comedian and presenter, this year could also be found in Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle, and presented Newsjack on Radio 7. But what happened when he was given the chance to come face-to-face Malcolm?

Miles Jupp writes...

I got called in for my audition on the day that I'd arranged to see In The Loop. That made it hard to relax whilst watching the film because all I could think was "If what I did this morning was what they want, then I'll get to work with these people". I ended up eating a lot of Revels. My second audition was two days after my son had been born and, as we'd had a home birth, the first occasion I'd left the house since. I was running on adrenaline, a first for me, and just gabbled at Armando. We did one improvised chat, at the end of which he said "sorry this is a bit weird" and I said "I've just had a baby". I don't remember the journey home. When I found out I'd got the part I was drunk, and at Lord's. That's how it should be.

Rehearsals were frantic and yet relaxed. You read the script together once, have a walk through the scene, and then you're told to put the script away and have another go. It's extraordinary. If Peter Capaldi is shaking you by the lapels whilst shouting improvised personal abuse so loudly that your vision is blurring, you can either laugh or soil yourself. Never both. Acting is all about making choices.

The episode I'm in was filmed at a Holiday Inn on a roundabout by Elstree. Although the hotel hadn't been closed for us we seemed to have the place all to ourselves. Sometimes just doing a few days on a project that everybody else is doing a long stint on can be very lonely. Not with this lot - they were great fun, and very welcoming. James Smith, who plays Glenn Cullen, made sure that I was introduced to every crew member before my first shot which was very decent behaviour indeed. Then we were off: acting, changing outfits, improvising, line learning, nodding, gossiping and eating lunch. We shot 60 pages of script, plus piles of additional made-up stuff: three days spent on the verge of, and sometimes over the brink of, hysteria. I'm looking forward to seeing it.

You won't have to wait long to see Miles in The Thick of It as you can watch him in action this Saturday at 10.15pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two.

How much time has Nicola Murray wasted walking up and down the stairs? Just what is going on between Glen and Robyn? And what exactly are journalists for? Find out as DoSAC's civil servants shoot the crud during their lunch break in Out of The Thick of It - exclusive to Red Button (press yours directly after the show) and Comedy Extra.

• Read more about The Thick of It

• Catch up with the latest episode on iPlayer