ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½

Bellamy's Babes fanclub founder Patricia Webb (below, right) runs the . She writes...

Introducing the Gary Cake Bake!

Last night Julie and me got our whisks out and each baked cakes with Gary's face on.

I did one of Gary in his pants. Swooooooon! Julie asked if she could eat Gary's pants and do you know what? We didn't stop laughing for a good hour.

Julie got a really good likeness of Gary I think. Bernard had to spoil it all by walking in and asking if it was meant to be Rick Astley. It's Gary! Talking into his Down The Line microphone! You bloody idiot Bernard! Genius Julie, genius!

Hope to put up the pics soon. Why not send us a picture of yours? Please, please also send in your drawings or cakes or models of Gary! He's got such a lovely face, he should be a dream to draw! Feel free to do collages too (use anything that comes to hand - macaroni, the foil off milk bottles, dog biscuits - the sky's the limit!) Just about anything can be turned into Gary Bellamy!!!

• Send your Gary Bellamy fan-art to comedyblog [at] bbc.co.uk!

The Making of Bellamy's People of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland: Episode Two


Bellamy's Links

• Paul Whitehouse speaks to Nikki Beddi
• Behind the Scenes with Adil Ray

READ ON FOR MORE BELLAMY FAN FUN!

Read the rest of this entry

Writes:

In brief No More Women news, this eighth match takes place in the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Club (a staff restaurant/bar out of which , and I have been thrown many times because we're not staff, but to which we consistently try to return because they show the cricket (when it's on) and do good cheap breakfast. On this occasion we had 'permission to film' so they couldn't do anything about us being there or buying bacon and eggs. And the cricket was on so we had an excellent time).

The main thing about this particular game, I think, is how seriously Mark takes it. He's desperate for a point and it's wonderful to watch him scrap - very nearly as wonderful as I imagine it would be to watch him physically fight; awkwardly wrestling another man to the ground, growling, elbowing him in the ear, that sort of thing.

No More Women is now played in every English-speaking country in the world, (all but four of the others too). Watch this and you'll understand why!

, aka Dr Ashen aka ashens, has been entertaining the internets for years. A few of my personal favourites from his many, many works include:

• The invaluable tutorial
• A spoof Alyson Hannigan fansite (sure to confuse any Buffy fan)
• A video in which he
• And the videogame revolution
  

In recent years he is possibly best known, on YouTube at least, for his reviews of terrible gadgets. And where do these awful bits of tat end up? With us, of course! In...

Ashen's Tech Dump


Watch another episode - there'll be another episode next week.

The Making of Ashen's Tech Dump

A diary by Stuart Ashen.

6:30am Woke up to sound of local DJ being incompetent. Ate 17 Shredded Wheat. Checked the battery on my iPhone 3GS charged overnight - battery at 100%, all OK.

6:50am Left house for walk to Norwich train station. iPhone battery at 73%.

7:30am Arrived at station. Caught train to London. Sat next to a quivering tramp with consumption.

7:35am Checked e-mails.

7:37am iPhone battery dead.

7:38am Attempted to charge iPhone using external USB battery I got from Ebay.

7:39am Put out fire.

7:47am Fell asleep.

9:02am Woke up with a line of snot extending from my nose to my trousers. Everyone in the carriage staring at me.

67:C9im Temporarily forgot how human reckoning of time works.

9:26am Arrived at Liverpool Street Station.

CONTINUE READING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

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The Persuasionists, it's fair to say, has had attracted a very vocal response from readers of this blog.

One of its stars, Adam Buxton (seen playing Greg, who does not have a beard) was away during transmission of the first episode, but now he responds with this special video:



The Persuasionists continues tonight at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Adam Buxton recently survived several hours alone in his shed.

Writes.....

I don't know if you've ever tried baked beans with mayonnaise mixed through (how could I?) but if you haven't, you should. It's delicious. Or how about pesto on toast? That's nice too. And Twitter with TV? No, not edible, but it is another surprisingly good combination so that's a pretty nifty opening paragraph.
Ìý
The point I'm (neatly) making is that watching TV while chatting on the web is surprisingly satisfying. Both media are (sometimes) improved in the process. If you're watching Celebrity Big Brother, for instance, you feel slightly less sordid if you admit it to your followers. Especially if other people mention that they're doing and feeling the same thing; you're not nearly as lonely as you thought you were.
Ìý
Similarly, if you've got the telly on while tweeting you (sometimes) feel a little less like you're wasting your life.
Ìý
So, to celebrate this magnificent collusion, we (need answers) are launching the first ever (possibly) twellyvision experience. For, as the ninth episode of our glorious quiz airs on Tuesday night (at 10pm) (on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Four), we (myself, and ) shall be both watching and tweeting for your entertainment. So not only will you be able to watch us say things on the TV, you'll also be able to read us write things about what we're saying on TV - on the web. It's almost too much. But it's just about right. And the show will be repeated the next day anyway if it's completely ruined (or you can just abandon either the commentary or the tv if it really is that bad).
Ìý
The effect should be something like a director's commentary on a DVD, but live, unedited and riddled with grammatical errors - not necessarily better than the original film (depending on the original film) but certainly different. Worth a try, surely.
Ìý
And that's it really. The episode itself features the hunky T4 presenter Rick Edwards squared up against former royal Jenni Bond (at last). They've both been contacted so will hopefully be in on it too. And so can you. 10pm, Tuesday night, We Need Answers (and general comments) on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Four and online; see you there.

• The action is now over but you can still visit the We Need Answers to see what the boys are up to right now. Those are their personal accounts and the opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½.

And here's a little out-take treat for you from the show. Bye!

Bellamy's Babes fanclub founder Patricia Webb (above, right) runs the Bellamy's People . She'll also be keeping us up to date with fanclub activities each week on the blog. She writes...

Hullo hullo and welcome to the most important site on the whole of the internet!! Gary has gone global!

Let me introduce myself. I am Bellamy's Babe Patricia Webb AKA Gary Bellamy's number one fan!!! It's no coincidence that Gary Bellamy has the same initials as our very own country Great Britain and like Great Britain he is quite simply The Best.

If you've not heard of Gary before (and if so, where have you been? Mars?!!) then let me tell you what a treat you have in store. Gary Bellamy is a radio DJ, TV star, newspaper man (he's had a column Gary's Soapbox in his local paper The St. Albans Echo for the last two years), love god (tee hee) and all round Bees Knees. Question - do bees have knees? Answers on a postcard purrlease! (I bet Gary would know. He's dead clever.)

I first saw Gary Bellamy (swoon! swoon!) when I was flicking through my TV Times and there was the tiniest photo of him on the letters page. Turned out he's offended someone with his views on gays. As usual with most shock jocks, he was misunderstood. Gary has always been a big fan of gays. He even gives part of his earnings in a standing order to Madame JoJo's gay nightclub. So there, doubters! Ìý

And then one day I turned on the radio and I heard THAT voice. Like treacle. And gravel. And custard. And Vicks vapour rub all rolled into one. (My husband Bill says sometimes he can sound a bit camp and I have to say I agree with him but that only adds to his charm. I mean, look at Rock Hudson.)

The only bad news I have to pass on about Gary is that he has a fiancée (will they ever tie the knot? Let's hope not!) called Michaela (cue panto hissing - hisssssssss! - Debbie, Gary's no 2 fan and the co-founder of Bellamy's Babes and I always do this whenever Michaela is mentioned. It's great fun! Join in!) We don't have anything against Michaela (hisssss!) personally. I'm sure she's a lovely girl. After all, anyone the Great Gary Bellamy chooses to spend his bed, sink and bog with has to have something good about them. As I say, it's nothing personal. We just want her dead! Tee hee! Anyone know a friendly axe murderer? Tee hee!

So, feast your eyes on the piccies (haven't managed to get a topless one yet but I'm working on it! - anyone papped Gary on hols??), look and learn on the Gary Factotum and keep those messages and wall posts and letters and e-mails and faxes coming. Rest assured that ALL fan mail is answered. We have a one hundred percent reply rate. To date we have answered over fifteen fan letters!!! Eat your heart out The Beetles! Ìý

Yours truly

Patricia Bellamy (tee hee!)

The Making of Bellamy's People of United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland: Episode One
Read blog posts from both Gary Bellamy (woo!) and producer/director Ben Mycroft (boo!) about the making of the show.

Extra Bellamy

• Watch Adil Ray behind the scenes at Bellamy's People (he plays Mr Khan)
• Join Bellamy's Babes and

Bellamy's People is on Thursdays at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two.

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Ian was one of the few people I was genuinely excited about meeting. I had heard all the stories from my father, who was working as a producer at the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ at the time of the famous interview he gave about the raw power of rock 'n' roll, and obviously I've used the music from a lot of the bands he managed on loads of the VTs on Top Gear. There's nothing like a good bit of 60s rock and roll to bring out the best in a Renault Twingo!

I had a friend who'd interviewed Ian for Rock Family Trees a few years ago, so I knew what to expect about the drinking. I made sure we arranged the interview for the morning, although he seemed half-cut by the time we arrived at his club anyway. The interview didn't last long, as he was pretty drunk after an hour and became far more interested in Marinho, the good-looking waiter who was bringing him his drinks.

After the interview Marinho and Gary (who had been trying to keep up with Ian in the scotch stakes and didn't really seem to know what was going on) went back to Ian's for a little 'party' while we went off to film some background stuff and GVs for our next interview. Gary was very tight-lipped about the escapade the next morning, and claimed to have no memory of the incident, which has since been erased from the history books, shall we say.

I got a postcard from Ian after we had finished filming thanking us for the interview and introducing him to Marinho, who he was now holidaying with in Morocco. How it made it to me I don't know, as it just had my name and 'ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Television Centre' scrawled on it. That's the magic of the good old Beeb - everyone knows where it is!

Anyway, that's it for my blogs! I hope you enjoyed them more than Gary's and that they've given you a bit of an insight into making the program. I'm off to start working on my next documentary project - The Great British Road Race, a fact-based race around Britain featuring Christine Bleakley, Jon Snow, peter Sissons, Jodie Marsh and a host of other celebrities (think Challenge Anneka, meets Trivial Pursuits meets A History of Modern Britain). It's a brand new genre we're calling 'Docu-Challenge' and is going to be on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ One next spring. We're very excited about it - we're going to have Jon Snow on a bike and Jodie Marsh in a tank scrambling around the country, how brilliant is that?

Funnily enough it's based on an idea David and I stumbled upon in our first meeting with Gary, but it's only now we've had a chance to concentrate on it. If it comes off it will be nice to think that some good has come of making this program - every cloud and all that!

Ben Mycroft is the Director/Producer of Bellamy's People, which starts tonight at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more about the making of the show and watch exclusive clips here on the Comedy Blog.

PLUS! Press the Red Button directly after each episode of Bellamy's People to see Ben Mycroft in action.

You can also join Bellamy's Babes and of Bellamy's People on Facebook.

HHH&H Head of Strategy, Keaton Flassbender, discusses the strategy behind a famous campaign: Dove - Real Beauty...

With its Real Beauty campaign, Dove became the first beauty product to feature ugly women in its adverts. What we in the industry like to call, "Rotters."

(Previously, Marks and Spencer had used a fat naked woman in one of its ads, but nobody wanted any of that noise, and they immediately dropped her [breaking some floor tiles] and had to hire sixties model, Twiggy, to save their bacon [from the fat woman, who was trying to steal it and put it in a big sandwich].)

In the Real Beauty ads, ugly women dance around in their pants, seemingly unashamed of their appearance. Perhaps they are drunk. We are not told.

At first, this campaign seems a mistake. Nobody aspires to be an ugly naked lady. Whatever they look like, people buy beauty products in the hope of becoming more beautiful. That's why they're called beauty products.

Some commentators said this ad showed how ugly people are - in a sense - just as beautiful as beautiful people. But those commentators were fools.

All gifts are unevenly distributed, but no commentators claim that stupid girls are - in a sense - just as clever as clever girls, or that men who are bad at football are - in a sense - just as skilled as professional players. Allow the attractive their talent.

However, the Real Beauty campaign wasn't a mistake, and it did have a message.

What Dove were trying to say, was that ugly women should remember to wash. They shouldn't just give up on themselves and sink into squalor. Sure, they'll never be physically appealing, but they should still maintain basic standards of hygiene: brush their teeth, wash behind their ears, and for God's sake shampoo that hair.

Just because you're assaulted our eyes, it doesn't mean you should assault our nostrils too.

A noble message, and a great campaign.

The Persuasionists continues on Wednesdays at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two.

Hello. GB here again, only a few days to go until BP (OTUKOGBANI) is launched into the world!

Now those of you who know me, know that I love people. Talking to people is one of my favourite pastimes, right up there with playing tennis, listening to British Sea Power and watching boxed sets of old Doctor Who series (just as some people prefer Paul McCartney to John Lennon, I prefer Peter Davidson to Tom Baker - it's an age thing).

The stories you hear from strangers can be fascinating, insightful, funny and sad - that's the nature of stories. But every now and again in this job you meet someone with a great story and Ian Craig-Oldman is just such a person. He doesn't have just one story, though. He has about six or seven, and luckily you will hear all of them in forthcoming episodes of Bellamy's People.Ìý To wet your whistle have a look at him in action in this exclusive web video:

Ian's a typical red-blooded sixties hell-raiser who has had about a billion wives. He was a huge force in his time, the Simon Cowell of the day, only without the strange gorilla hair cut. He was a rock manager and a film producer and has met everyone from the Beatles to the Bay City Rollers, via Michael Caine, Julie Christie and Terence Stamp.

Off camera I asked him about Terence Stamp, who my generation know as General Zod from the best Superman film of them all, SUPERMAN II. Sadly he didn't have much to say. Although Ian has known Terence for thirty years and had been great friends with him, they never actually met. Ian told me that Terrance was a stickler for the bottle in the old days but gave it up and is now hooked on wheat free bread and buckwheat.

After our interview Ian, who had gulped down a good few scotches, invited me and our waiter back to his for a little party. Unfortunately I had to go off for another interview but the waiter went and I hear they had a whale of a time.

I would have liked to have talked to Terence Stamp on Bellamy's People (OTUKOGBANI), but he didn't really fit into any category and Ben didn't feel that he was right.Ìý He didn't think any of my other celebrity suggestions were right either, Naomi Watts, Jamie Lee Curtis and Melanie Griffith.

Maybe next series, eh (hint, hint, hint ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½).

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this behind-the-scenes, off-the-record, candid rap about the making of BP (OTUKOGBANI) and getting to see some of our unused interviews for the series. Believe me you me the stuff we actually used is even better!

Bellamy's People starts Thursday 22nd January at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read the rest of Gary's blogs and see more exclusive clips in the Comedy Blog archive.

Creator John Sullivan writes...

Rock & Chips is advertised as the prequel to Only Fools and Horses, but it's much more than just a prequel. It's an opportunity to solve many mysteries, bury some lies and put a few ghosts to rest.

The first episode of OFAH ("Big Brother") was transmitted on 8th September, 1981 and within the first two minutes Del had evoked their late mother's memory to disarm Rodney. And captured there, in that little living room on the 12th floor of Nelson Mandela House, was the heart of the whole series which, although I wasn't to know at the time, was set to run for the next 22 years.

Del, Rodney and Grandad, representing the three ages of man, lived there in a state of almost-happy guerilla warfare and yet the most important person in the flat was never, ever seen; it was the spirit of Del's (and Rodney's) beloved mother Joan who had passed away 17 years before, and throughout the run of the series Del constantly referred to her and past events within the Trotter Family.


But much of his historical information was at best contradictory, and at worse outright lies. We were left with a situation where the only person who really knew what had happened was an unreliable witness, so I decided to return to those misty days of 1960 to meet all those characters we'd only ever heard about: Joan's husband (and Del's father) Reg Trotter. Was he really as horrible as Del always described him? The younger Grandad, what was he like back then? And what part did the villain Freddy Robdal play in the Trotters' lives?


We also get the chance to meet the teenage Del Boy, Boycie, Trigger, Denzil, Jumbo Mills, the already snidey Roy Slater, and Del's "bestest" friend, Albie Littlewood. It was round about 1960 that the teenagers of Great Britain invented sex and Del and the gang are enthusiastic supporters of this wonderful innovation - they see it as the future - and try to introduce every girl in the area to the new fashion.

This back-story to the Trotter saga and all its ghosts has been locked away somewhere in my mind for the last couple of decades and I thought it was about time I released them all and gave them their time in the sun. So on Sunday 24th January at 9pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ One I hope you'll join them in 1960 and embark on a 50 year journey back to the truth. More Rock and Chips

Behind the Scenes: When Joan met Freddie

• Watch more behind the scenes videos

We didn't really know what to expect of 'The Garden'. Ian Knowles is very secretive, and they don't normally allow outsiders in. All I knew was some of Ian's history as an internet entrepreneur (he ran a site for booking gardening holidays called 'gardenaway') and the court cases involving the children.

I deliberately kept Gary in the dark about what was there so I could really capture his genuine emotions when he found out what Ian was up to, plus I didn't want a repeat of the whole Tony Beckton experience. My plan was to keep the interview going for as long as possible and just wait for Ian to reveal himself as the pervert we all knew he was. This took around three hours, during which time Gary had to leave the room a few times, but in the end we got some great material. I have to say that Gary was brilliant; for once he just sat there and let Ian speak. I was really pleased with him on that day; it was a real 'growing the beard' moment for him.

After the interview with Ian I persuaded Vetch to show us around the camp to meet some of the other people there. That was when Ian started talking to Holly. By the time we'd got back she was already trying on the blonde wig. I tried to persuade her to come back with us which didn't work, and I think I may have made things worse when I tried to negotiate exclusive rights to her story if she ever left - but to be honest her mind was pretty made up really. I guess if I hadn't been married, things might have been different, and a woman spurned is a loose canon at the best of times.

It was a bit difficult as her parents live in the same village as my parents, which is how she got the job in the first place, and I think they may hold me a bit responsible. Personally, I think that's a bit unfair, especially after all I did for her career, although she did say something about how she already spent most of her waking hours being exploited by a massive egotist and so being in the 'Garden' wouldn't really be that different. I think we know who she was taking about, the initials G and B spring to mind.

When we went back to The Garden a few months later to get some shots of Gary driving into the site in his 'personality car' we saw actually saw Holly for a few minutes for a chat.Ìý She's Denim 2 now, which is apparently good. She's also pregnant, which is a shock, but everyone at the camp seemed really pleased for her, apart from Daffodil who was very quiet about the whole thing.

Ben Mycroft is the Director/Producer of Bellamy's People, which starts at 10pm on Thursday 21st January on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more about the making of the show and watch exclusive clips here on the Comedy Blog.

Greetings loyal subjects!

Having a spot of bother with the wife. It started with a difference of opinion over iTunes and seems to have escalated since then. Music may be the food of love, but with love temporarily on the rocks, and music now a very sore point indeed, I'm afraid we've both just resorted to food and have been eating for England. I, for one, am touching cloth like there's no tomorrow and wifey's in the bathroom right now building a log cabin to rival King's College Chapel. (Apologies if I seem to have been side tracked by that particular poo story but the point is we're not getting on at all.)

Catherine is lovely and everything and I do generally adore her but I can't help thinking life would be so much easier if I could just pop her in an iron maiden every now and then. Alas, the music 'debacle' means she's cancelled our broadband contract by way of punishment and I'll be offline by the end of the week. I will surely waste away without the internet! No more papal flame wars on facebook, no more hottie hunting and no more twittering wisdom. I won't even be able to terrify Lilly Allen's tour manager without the internet and as for click-throughs on Lady Gaga's youtube videos, well they will surely take a nosedive without me around. I was tempted to lop off Catherine's lovely head in protest at such a barbaric proposal as disconnecting from the internet, but who's going to venture out in the cold and the snow for crisps and roasts if she's not around?

No, I will just have to lie low and do my best to get back into Catherine's good books. I tried winning her over by doing some hoovering this morning but apparently there are other, more hygienic ways of cleaning out the oven and so I think I'll just have sleepy quiet time on the sofa with my book and my coloured pencils and pray that she changes her mind about the broadband connection. I'm doing a truly magnificent study of a monster eating a spaceship and with God on my side I should be able to scan it in and post it online 'ere the year is out.

Until such time as I can bellow at you all again... adieu!

H8

P.S. I am currently consoling myself by inventing a whole range of royal smileys. Hopefully by this evening I won't be quite so }]:-(

Hooray Henry

The current series of Henry 8.0 has finished but you can still:

• Watch Henry 8.0 on Comedy Extra

The Persuasionists begins tonight on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. It's a comedy about the staff of a marketing agency called HHH&H and it is written by Jonathan Thake - a man with a good idea about life in this world, as it was he who came up with a back in 2002.

But you have to wonder whether the team in The Persuasionists have the wit to make it in the industry quite as far as their creator. Each week Jonathan will be giving us an insight into his characters' creative lives, starting today with the ideas pad belonging to Billy (played by Iain Lee, above). So, without further ado, here are...

Billy's Cockney Cheese Ideas

On my journey around Bellamy's People (OTUKOGBANI) there were occasions where things got a little hairy, a little scary and a little disturbing.

In this week's clip, you can see me, GB, meeting cult leader, Ian Knowles, known to his followers, or 'flowers', as The Inspire. Ian's cult, The Garden, was very strange. As I drove in I saw barbed wire, men in matching green boiler suits on watchtowers, women named after flowers wearing identical clothing and strange blonde wigs, like The Stepsford Wives. Ian even had his own henchman with a classic henchman's name, Vetch (also named after a flower).

I was glad I had the film crew around to keep me from danger and all of the weirdness. Now I know how Louis Theroux must have felt when he spent a weekend with Jimmy Saville! I even pretended to go to the toilet just so I could call Michaela, my mum, my agent, my brothers and my dad to say my goodbyes, just in case I never left The Garden alive or with my own mind.

Then I went back into the toilet and called the bank to cancel all of my direct debits, T-Mobile to cancel my phone - again, just in case. Then I went back again to call Brian Ruff, the family solicitor, to knock up a quick Will, leaving everything to Michaela and Comic Relief, again, just in case. That cost me (especially as I had to make about 20 calls to T-Mobile).

It took me a while to realise that Ian was/is basically a sex addict. He even looks like Michael Douglas from some angles. Nevertheless, the power of Ian was so strong that even I was taken in by the man and his beliefs. I had to keep telling myself not to fall for his charms, but it was very hard to resist. I could see why desperate young men and women, with minds less advanced than my own,Ìý would fall under his spell.

I hadn't felt this way since I interviewed Paul McKenna in 2004 and he made me like the Eurythmics. I had always hated them. After an hour with McKenna, I was addicted to Thorn In My Side, Sex Crimes (1984) and lesser-known hits like King and Queen of America, which only reached No 29 in the charts.

Ian's 'Garden' thrived on sex, not Baby Bio. All members of the cult slept with him, both men and women - and Vetch. Many of the girls were pregnant and carrying his offspring. Some were beautiful and if I were not happily engaged, I'm sure I'd have had a go at inspiring them myself. However, what repelled me was the fact that all of the women were ordered to shave (all over!). I don't go for that myself. I find that scary, like doing it with a Barbie doll or a big sand worm, like the ones in DUNE. I think it reveals too much and I prefer some things left to the imagination.


In the blog-exclusive video above, Ian is talking me through the complicated system of levels you have to pass through to reach the highest point understanding in his cult. While I was there I rose to level 3, I think, which was 'wool', or something.

Everyone in The Garden was under Ian's spell, all except his wife, Annette - or Daffodil, which was her flower name. She clearly saw through her husband's façade, after all, she'd known him before his 'inspiration' (breakdown) and knows what a prat he really is.

I can say this now as I have left the 'Garden' and I will never see him again, unlike poor Holly. I had always thought she was a bright girl, but it seems she had a weak mind and was easily swayed by BS (bullshit). She was sent to get Ian to sign a release form, and after being left alone with him for half an hour she underwent some kid of conversion. Even though both Ben and I begged her not to do anything foolish, she'd already shaved by the time we'd loaded the people carrier and there was no turning back. All I can say is, I hope she's happy, the silly cow.

Gary Bellamy is presenter of Bellamy's People. Read more about the making of Bellamy's People on the Comedy Blog.

Related thing

Brian Pern

Adam Buxton writes...


The harrowing conclusion of my shed-based survival adventure. I've never been so emotionally shredded as I was at this point...

It was very difficult for me to watch this footage after I shot it: I didn't have the right lead for my camera so I had to go and buy one but it turned out the one I got wasn't compatible with my laptop.

When I was finally able to watch the footage I got quite excited because I thought "hey! This is great stuff for the documentary and I may even get some serious acting work out of it!" I showed it to my wife who said she thought it was one of the most irritating things she had ever seen, so I cut a lot of the most extreme crying and funny noises out, but there's still a lot there. If the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ ever do a Blu-Ray of Alone in the Shed, there's another seven and a half hours of crying that will make for some cracking extras. Thanks for joining me on my journey. I hope you learned as much about how amazing I am as I did.

Adam Buxton is no longer in his shed, and can instead be seen in The Persuasionists which starts at 10pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two tomorrow night. Alone in the Shed was previously shown as part of 2009 Unwrapped with Miranda Hart.

The idea for Coming of Age came to me when I was eighteen and trying to find a way out of doing more exams. I've always loved sitcom and I'd always wondered why there wasn't a proper sitcom about teenage life, so one weekend I sat down, wrote a script and sent it to the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½.

Then the weird bit happened. The ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ loved it, and lo and behold here we are on Series Two. Series Two!! Incredible. It seems like only yesterday we made the pilot now here I am practically middle aged telling you about Series Two.

So what's changed at Wooton College? Well, as we pick the story up, not much. Jas is still with Ollie, Chloe's still with Matt and DK's still with anyone who'll have him - which is tragically still no-one. But this year I really wanted to take advantage of the show's serial element, so by episode eight everyone's in a very different place to episode one. I'm not telling you what'll happenÌýthough, you'll have to watch, but it's big and threatens to split the group up forever.

Apart from that, Coming of Age Series Two is just as loud, outrageous and sassy as you'd expect - and I think even funnier than before. Highlights for me include Chloe making Matt give her virginity back, Jas and Ollie playing brand new computer game Lederhosen Hero, the gang putting on a radio play, and DK rapping with a ventriloquists doll. Plus we've thrown some fabulous guest stars into the mix: Stephen K Amos hams it up gloriously as ex-army officer Captain Gannett, and the amazing Miriam Margolyes puts in a show stopper as Doreen, a rank cockney pensioner who leads DK astray in episode six.

Frankly, it's unmissable. But don't take my word for it - I'm the writer after all. Watch every Tuesday at 10.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Three and find out for yourself!

Get to know the cast - fast

The new series of Coming of Age starts tonight at 10.30pm on ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Three. Read Joe Tracini's diary from the making of the series here on the Comedy Blog.

Adam Buxton writes...

In many ways this was the toughest part of my adventure. I was still a bit drunk from the beers I had consumed in rapid succession upon my arrival in the shed, but my unsuccessful attempt to get more beer from the house left me frightened and desperate - and the prospect of going back inside to help my wife with the children's supper and bedtime was looming like a big, naughty yoghurt-covered spectre.

While fishing around in my pockets hoping to find some tiny beers that maybe I'd left there previously, I discovered a note from my wife. Reading that note was one of the most intense emotional journeys I've ever been on as you will experience - or if you're reading this having watched the video - have just experienced.

Watch the final part of Adam's adventure tomorrow here on the Comedy Blog. Alone in the Shed was previously shown as part of 2009 Unwrapped with Miranda Hart.

writes:

Hello Gameshow Lovers!

Just so we know where we are, this blog is being written by me (Tim Key). I am a 33-year-old male. I live in an area of London called Limehouse and make ends meet by doing writing (or acting) and also by doing something called "poetry". Difficult to explain if you haven't heard of it, but it's basically what Shakespeare (dead) and Pushkin (Russian) did, and it involves writing stuff down and frowning. More about me later. But first, No More Women.

This is an interesting little match-up. Nihal (wirey; competitive) against Mark Watson (Spindly; bespectacled for reasons of fashion) go toe-to-toe on stools in a joust that should silence a few critics of "exhibition matches". Mark played hard but Nihal (you may know Nihal from Radio One) had a few tricks up his own sleeve, too. The moment he countered Mark's prosaic Steve Cram with his much more forward-thinking Myra Hindley showed the guy obviously had skill as well as bottle.

Of course, it's always a pleasure watching Watson at play (I don't know Nihal's surname but I saw it written down once and it's not something I think I can learn owing to it's length).Ìý He's the master of the "quantity of letters in a word" genre and ultimately it was this that softened his DJ opponent up. Watch out for the look of fear in his eyes when Nihal (you may know Nihal because you were a friend of Nihal before he came into the public eye through his work in music) says "Lady Gaga".

The result's the only thing that matters of course (watch the video) but credit to Nihal. I honestly can't remember seeing such an impressive display on debut since I made my own debut way back in 2002. Debutants! Delightful! Which brings me onto my one beef with this series of matches to date.

Last week a match between myself (smart; Tim Key) and (tut, Rick Edwards) went "on-line". I hadn't seen the "finished version" of this "piece of content" so was interested to see how it looked. Obviously, with Rick's sumptuous features writ large, and with me more than holding my own, it was always going to be easy on the eye. However, I was appalled with what I saw. I am not bitter about being defeated by Rick (if I'm going to lose to anyone I'd rather they were attractive). My problem comes with the FACT that I know I did not lose that match.

It will probably dismay you, that match was a very competitive draw (with plenty of ebb and flow). At times I felt quite under the hammer, it's true. But I fought the good fight, I dug in, and I got a draw. And now I see that SOME PEOPLE ('s central to this) have been "editing" and "massaging the figures" (there's a girl called Lucy involved) and "tinkering with the footage" to make it look like I (you know who I am) lost.

So I'm appalled.

And I felt that needed to be said.

Tim Key is currently on an aeroplane and his favourite thing to do in Sydney is Micheal Winner.

Jinsy is an island which has been around as long as anyone can remember and probably long before that, though there is no evidence to support this theory.

Jinsy is a place which has a big song, a bit like a national anthem, which was scrawled on the back of a horse by Greeg Hurtrum.

Jinsy is a land of Pelch, which can be used to make a fiery and potent alcohol, though homebrew pelch is expressly forbidden.

Jinsy is 'This is Jinsy', a brand new comedy coming soon both online and on TV. We'll let you know more when we know more. In the meantime, there's lots of Jinsy info to be found on the , where you can .

...oh, and we asked The Jinsy Tower for a statement. This is what they said:

THE BIG SWITCH-ACROSS

Residents of Jinsy, daily greet.

With the introduction of vegetricity, all TESSELLATORS across the island (including the dark areas of Kraw Parish) will switch across to the new CLUPE NUT system next Toosday. All model 3 TESSELLATORS should now be uprooted and dumped in Mrs Feek's back garden (chalet 165). To celebrate the switch-across, Miss Pre will be broadcasting a 12 hour play cycle of her award shunning dramapod, "Pebbles for George", a moving reinterpretation of the ancient Jinsy folk tale about the young man, George, who is given some pebbles. Any resident refusing to participate in the big switch-across can expect a visit to the punishment booths on Rintel's Point.

Adam Buxton writes...

Welcome to the second part of my epic four-part journey of self-absorption as I try to survive...alone in the shed. After a wonderful first few hours during which time I ate some extraordinary tortilla chips, drank some extraordinary beer and read some extraordinary magazines about Jazz (the article on Spatz McSwazz and the pioneers of Swingbop was particularly arousing), things started to get tough.

For a start I ran out of beer. Being a responsible family man, my consumption of alcohol is for the most part moderate bordering on the abstemious, but in the shed different rules apply: when one has beer, the shed is an exciting environment, full of marvellous boxes, bags and bike parts.

But when the beer runs out, it's vital that supplies are replenished immediately or it can quickly become cold, unforgiving and even boring. However as you will see, a re-up from the house beer stash can be a dangerous business...

More from Adam next week. Alone in the Shed was previously shown as part of 2009 Unwrapped with Miranda Hart.

We spent a lot of time interviewing Tony (above), mainly because Gary was too frightened to ask him any challenging questions, so we had to keep on filming. Gary has a natural tendency to trivialise his interviews anyway, as you would expect from someone who has spent years doing phone-ins in Canada. We'd often start filming and as soon as it got remotely interesting or edgy, Gary would get a bit nervous and quickly change the subject onto something lighter like Queen or seventies TV. I wish we'd chosen Doctor Who as one of our topics as I would have had enough material for an hour-long episode.

This problem was exacerbated with Tony Beckton because Gary was terrified of him anyway.Ìý On our first day we filmed with Tony in a Black cab I hailed off the street and we did a little tour of Deptford. Tony made a joke about wanting to go around to Gary's for a cup of tea and Gary panicked and said he was frightened one of us, or even Michaela were going to be taken hostage. I said as a joke that I'd be fine as I'd done the Hostile Environment training course at the ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ and Gary jumped on this saying he needed to be sent on it too and he refused to interview Tony again until he'd done it.

This was clearly a bit of a pathetic excuse, and the whole crew realised it pretty quickly. I suppose I could have been more supportive of Gary, and I should have nipped all the mickey-taking in the bud, especially when the sound man pretended he'd told Tony where Gary lived. I just like a bit of banter when we're filming, and it was pretty funny really. In the end we all had a good old laugh about it, although I think Gary moved Michaela out to a hotel for a week or so.

(Talking of hotels, I'd just like to put the record straight. Yes, Holly did come back to my room that night in Watford, but so did half the crew. We had a great night and nothing silly happened. If anyone made inappropriate advances it was Holly not me, and if Holly said otherwise I think that says more about her than it does about me.)

Ben Mycroft is the Director/Producer of Bellamy's People, which is coming soon to ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Two. Read more about the making of the show and watch exclusive clips here on the Comedy Blog.

Adam Buxton writes...

It all started in September 2009 when I was watching a documentary on Channel 4 called in which documentary maker Ed Wardle set off to the Canadian Yukon to see how long he could survive completely alone in the wild (which I think is how the title came about) in order to make his life more extraordinary. Over three episodes we saw Ed swimming nude with his joolies carefully covered, trying to shoot a squirrel out of a tree, getting frightened of bears though he never actually saw one, losing weight and crying and crying and crying. Finally he got fed up and called for the rescue plane, which took him to a hotel where Ed had a Snickers and cried for a while longer. It was the most inspiring thing I have ever seen on television and I vowed to myself that I too would do something to make my life more extraordinary whilst getting myself on TV.

Unfortunately my wife felt that a solo trip to Canada was an unjustifiable drain on the family finances so I decided to see how long I could survive in our shed. The shed is a very special, spiritual place for me. Because I'm one of the most famous people in the country, I am constantly hounded by paparazzi and attractive stalkers and the shed is one of the few places I can go to be free of the attention. I go there to meditate about the media (or 'media-tate'), to stare at printer boxes or just to listen to old Adam & Joe podcasts with a glass of frozen wine. I thought it would be easy to spend several weeks in there but just like Ed Wardle, I soon realised how very wrong and slightly prattish I was.

Come back tomorrow to see what Adam did next... in the shed. Alone in the Shed was previously shown as part of 2009 Unwrapped with Miranda Hart.

Filming Bellamy's People could be a lot of fun, seeing beautiful countryside, visiting historic towns and meeting some diverse and fascinating people, but sometimes I was thrown in at the deep end. In this week's exclusive clip (you won't even see it in the show!) I come face to face with Tony Beckton, Deptford's answer to The Kray:


I first interviewed Tony on 'DTL' (Down The Line) a couple of years back. Tony was promoting his forthcoming autobiography Beyond Reason.Ìý At that time Tony was still damaged and on the road to recovery. At one point he flipped out live on air claiming the "red mist" was coming down. And believe you me you don't want to be within a hundred miles of Tony Beckton when the red mist comes down, let alone cooped up in a tiny radio studio in the bowels of Broadcasting House. Luckily that time I escaped relatively unscathed, but I was still nervous of meeting up with him again. Ben, though, thought it would make great telly. I was more than a little anxious. How would Tony Beckton have changed after two years of freedom? Would he keep the red mist at bay or would he kill me like he killed his mum? To find out, watch Bellamy's People...

(By the way, Ben, you're right what happens on location stays on location. I've got nothing to hide, but Holly told me all about what happened between you two the night I gallantly offered to escort Kayleigh home and Holly was a bit put out. My lips are sealed, but do the words 'hotel mini bar', 'teary confession' and 'clumsy lunge' mean anything to you?)

Gary Bellamy is presenter of Bellamy's People. Read more about the making of Bellamy's People on the Comedy Blog.

Related thing

Brian Pern

writes:

So, after four tense head-to-heads betwen (losing) and (winning), we thought it was time to take No More Women to the next level with what can only be described as 'An Exhibition Match' (both players were adamant it wouldn't affect their series score-line).

Who better to compete in the first battle of the New Year than the newly-crowned Mr T4, the hunky, the undeniably gorgeous . Because while Rick [above, left] is so obviously dreamier than the dreamiest of boats, he's also as bright as the brightest of buttons.
Ìý
That's right, he's a clever clogs, is Rick. One of my two favourite facts to wheel out while watching Hollyoaks is that Dr Edwards (as he prefers to be addressed) has a degree in Physics from Cambridge (the other being about the animal kingdom and less relevant). Yeah, Dwards (he doesn't mind being called that either) is one wooden but intelligent pair of shoes.

Not only that, but he's played No More Women before! As previously stated, Mark and Tim invented the game some several years ago, since when the game has spread from their own social circle to so many other friendly shapes that the good-looking TV presenter Ricky has already been caught in its trap.
Ìý
So if you're thinking, "my word, that blindingly attractive TV god Richard Edwards is playing his alluring socks off here", you're right, but this isn't his first game. Tim [above, right] is, of course, the more experienced player, but the sex-bomb has form. Hence the arguably underground tactics (anal adherence to 'rules', suspicious lack of clock, general unsportsmanlike behaviour) exhibited by the competitive Mr Key.

By the way, I'm in this one for about 0.7 seconds too. Enjoy!