Life¡¯s a Snore
- 7 Jul 07, 09:32 AM
Hands up all of you who snore. I must confess that I too have my hand in the air. Yes, I¡¯m Kim and I¡¯m a snorer. Indeed, according to my other half I snore like a ten ton truck with a dodgy exhaust. Trust a man to put it so tactfully and delicately. Particularly when he too could raise the roof with his noisy nocturnal snorting ¨C but I¡¯m not bitter. Actually it doesn¡¯t really bother me because, to be honest, the Grimethorpe Colliery brass band could be playing in the room and I would sleep through it, euphoniums and all. But it does bother my delicate little flower ¨C ha - and it has caused more than its fair share of grumpy morning moaning. I wish I could say that he¡¯s exaggerating, but I know there are times when I¡¯ve been snoring so loud I¡¯ve actually wakened myself up ¨C I can¡¯t believe I just admitted that in public. And you know it¡¯s always at its worse when you¡¯ve eaten late, had a few drinks and you¡¯ve rolled onto your back ¨C which is pretty much all the time I¡¯m in Paris, where, I fully admit, I am Snorzilla. What I hate most of all, and why I think I¡¯m so touchy about the subject, is that it seems so unlady like - surprising when you consider that 1 in 10 women are big time snore hounds. But ultimately it¡¯s still the kind of thing you associate with big, hairy rugby players rather than the refined fairer sex. Yes, when it comes to sleepy time I¡¯m definitely more Brian O¡¯Driscoll than Nicole Kidman.
Why I mention all this stuff about snoring now is that I read one of those surveys during the week giving all the usual facts and figures but with one notable addition¡our snoring pets. Indeed 32% of the people surveyed said it was a huge annoyance ¨C certainly gives a whole new meaning to the words ¡®cat nap¡¯. Although in my case I¡¯m quite comforted by the fact that Ella, my canine counterpart in the snooze stakes, and I can snore contentedly together with no sniping comments from certain ¨C people who snore in glass houses shouldn¡¯t throw stones ¨C quarters.
Actually I have now come up with a solution for that particular problem - I got him ear plugs, told him to dry his lamps and he is NEVER allowed to utter the ¡®s¡¯ word to me again. I¡¯m off to Paris shortly so let¡¯s see how long the snore truce lasts!
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yes-! snorers unite! I do snore from time to time especially after a few drinks ....red wine especially .. my better half never has complained all these years .. guess I must be a sporadic snorer!Still it could be worse we could both snore in unison and keep each other awake !
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