Much ado about nothing
The Dynamic Duo were beamed live and direct from across the pond this week, playing the charming roles of "little aliens" in New York. I love NYC, I was there a short while ago and it's just got this vibrant energy and sense of excitement that is totally unique to anywhere else. Also the fact that a million and one movies/TV shows are filmed there, means that you can get this eerie sense of deja-vu everytime you turn a street corner and find yourself recognising the different surroundings. Yes indeed, New York can be a very interesting place.
The show started late because of the extended broadcast of the Proms hosted by Mr "Radio Maestro" himself, Terry Wogan (whose studios we "borrow" every week). I was sitting in these self same studios late on Saturday night, waiting for the switchover to occur. As I listened to the sounds of "Jerusalem" being played across the airwaves, I started to get flashbacks of embarrasing school assemblies and me there stuggling to sing with the adolescent combination of a broken voice and terrible acne. Back then my music teacher used to emphasise to us that "As long as we (the class) started off anything with a passion, we could always build upon that."
Russell & Matt are over in the U.S. to shoot a documentary that celebrates the work of the famed 50's beat poet Jack Kerouac and embark on a soul-searching journey across the States.This made it all the more funny for me when they enrolled in some creative writing classes in Manhattan and Russell got into an altercation with the poetry teacher over the useage of the word "void". Apparently the teacher praised Matt and chastised Russell over their poetical efforts, such ingredients (as we all know) are the perfect recipe for a Brand Tantrum. Meanwhile Matt just nervously sat back, twiddled his thumbs and waited for the hurricane to pass.
The process of writing poetry is strange one, because it's a bit like emptying your mind onto a page and then never quite being sure as to how the listener takes it all in. I've been writing and performing poems for a few years now (I've even done a few shows in NYC) and I've faced all types of responses: ranging from the good to the bad, all the way to....."Gee you better duck!". See, with comedy the accepted signifyer of a positive reaction is a laugh, with music it's the head-nod of appreciation but with poetry the pay-off is not always so obvious. The fact that a little poem evoked such a full-blown argument between Russell and his tutor, means that at least both sides were passionate about what constitues creativity and the writing of poetry. I'm sure that as my old music teacher can attest, a passionate response can always be built upon....... (but then again, come to think of it, he may have just been a pervert!).
A Void in the issue
The news has been spread,
Today has been left,
A start has been made,
It's the beginning of a quest,
New York City is the place,
The hotel's a disgrace,
A tiny room, a ransacked tomb,
and the guilty two sporting a Bruno pug-face!
Who'd have thought that a little poem could cause such distress?
That a void could be destroyed with a carress of emptyness.
I suggest that lap-top mishaps contribute to the stress,
So take a leaf from Wogan's book: early to rise, early to rest!
Well said Gee.
I had previously wondered whether Mr Brand would ever get a minute to write the blog himself, but after hearing about his volitile relationship with his laptop I dare say it's maybe for the best that he doesn't...!
Cracking show this week, looking forward to hearing more of the gruesome-twosome's statesite antics!
Love your blogs and the poems. I love the bits reporting Russ's tantrums and Matt bless his beautiful self just sitting there, waiting for it to be over.
Love to you all
x
Gee you RAAWWWK!
keep it the wicked work...
The thought of Russell having a tantrum over Matt doing something better than him is helplessly amusing to me.
Another great show.
Looking forward to the next chapter of Russell and Matt's American roadtrip!
nice blog mr gee!
russell should have opted to phone a friend and let you deal with his poetry teacher. poor matt had to just pretend and act normal lol!
Had to go to the dentists this morgen.
We took our bikes. Littly fell off his on route, trying to pull his trousers up. Got a grazed knee.
We hav,ny got a lock, so 2 minutes before the appointment, I dove into a shop and purchased, all they had. A flimsy, rubbish, padlock for a pound. Hopefully it will look more of a deterant than it's secure.
We went into the waiting room and tried furiously not to make eye contact with anyone in there.
A lady started staring and tapping her shoes on the laminate floor.
I was resolute and diddnt look over.
As the other day, on, "Its me or the dog."
The nice teacher lady,said that you should teach the dog that you will protect it and not let anything happen to it, because you are in control.
I thought I would apply this tecknique when I,m out with littly.
So he feels more secure.
People just snigger at a moments notice if you look like youve envolved them in what your upto. Invariably as a bit of a put down to littly, ridiculing him. I put it down to jealousy!
When we got in the dentists we were both fine and he was pleased with our teeth.
He asked why littly was not at school, I replied that he was home educated. The dentist started his inquisition, referring to littly as "her," as he's still got really long hair.
When he was satisfied, that we are not social deviants, he went into a grand monologue of the origins of the English language. Progressing on to sighting how many words there are in German, French and the British.
Finally he gave us a history lesson about the Norsmen and Danish.
All this time littly had become distracted and was menouvering the overhead dentists chair light, as if it was a life size Bionicle, or Transformer.Whenever I told him not to, and to leave it alone, the Dentist, gestured a tiny shrug of the eyebreow, saying it was ok, out of the corner of his mouth. So he could have my full attention as he engaged me in this enthrawling conversation. The pressure was building, I felt like I was in a staring competition and any flinch would result in my demise as insufficient to pass the test of home educator, by the dentist.
By this point the dental nurses were bringing cups of tea in. Standing there incredulous. Only resulting in encouraging the dentist in his great,oritory. He told them they should listen to what he was saying as they might learn sometghing from it.
Littly meanwhile, was shining the light on to the plastic cup of mouth wash, exclaiming on the yellow colour, as if he was illuminationg the cup of eternal life in its irridecant holy grail.
The dentist made allusions, for his own fancy, insinuating that it was wee.He said,"Oh, I would nt touch that, the last man who was in here, left it."
Littly looked puzzled, so I dutifully went along with Mr. Dentisto, and in a rather involunary blank voice, said," Its wee"
The dentist was delighted that I had piccked up on hiss little mews, giving me a smile of admiration.
Spurred on, I proceded to take it further saying it was used as a natural ureaik antiseptic.
Dentisto nodded in aprooval.
When we left, we went to make an appointment for 6 months time. The dental nursed were just a little bit curt!
They had no time to suffer fools gladly, making me pay for the time calluding with their boss.
Littly made a coment that was perfectly sensible and the man next to him fell about sniggering.
Then I looked down and realized that my black top had great white patches by the arms from my deoderant.