Adebayor's started so well for Man City
Heard the one about the gay irishman?
After today's freedom of speech debate, tomorrow 3 comedians discuss the new law which would ban incitement of hatred against gay people; comedians because Rowan Atkinson thinks the proposed legislation has consequences for freedom of speech, humour and creativity.
We're going to talk to who happens to be gay,Welsh comic who's spent most of his stand-up career in working men's clubs, and who as part of his routine makes a gag about Alexander the Great being gay - goes down well in the UK but bombed in Singapore apparently.
Plus it's the jolly to end all jollies - I'm presenting the programme from Slough tomorrow. It's quite important actually - I'll be at a primary school where over 60 per cent of the children speak English as a second language. We're going to find out what pressure that puts on the teachers and how it affects the pupils' progress. It should help inform the debate on immigration.
I listen to your programme every morning and find it very interesting and informative.I like your style and your are very approachable and normal when you speak to callers.
You are not afraid to tackle contenscious subjects and I am looking forward to your programme from Slough.I know a primary school teacher in Leicester who has to deal with children of different nationalities and is very sympathetic to them all learning English.She tells me that the children have to help each other in their own tongue to make progress.
Thank you and keep up the high standard of presentation and programmes.
I listen to your programme every morning and find it very interesting and informative.I like your style and your are very approachable and normal when you speak to callers.
You are not afraid to tackle contenscious subjects and I am looking forward to your programme from Slough.I know a primary school teacher in Leicester who has to deal with children of different nationalities and is very sympathetic to them all learning English.She tells me that the children have to help each other in their own tongue to make progress.
Thank you and keep up the high standard of presentation and programmes.
Hi - I called this morning regarding being left alone in labour, and I p[romised to post the full Mexican Soap Opera on the blog....
I'll warn you, its LONG...
The story started on Monday the 4th of September 2006, and the easiest way to tell the whole saga is chronologically…so, we’ll start at the beginning….
Monday 4th September 2006
Around 7pm I started having regular but mild contractions. Using my fabby website – www.bidoo.com/contraction.htm - I was timing them around every 5 minutes…nothing ridiculous, quite bearable etc..
I called the hospital, because at every ante-natal appointment I had I was warned that if I wanted to “give labour a go” I was told that I’d need to be closely monitored because of my previous section. I wanted therefore to check when I should go in, and was told the standard “5 minutes apart, lasting for a minute or more”….so, as they were bearable we thought we would just leave it for the time being…
So…we went to bed, contractions tailed off and I managed to get some sleep.
Tuesday 5th September 2006
Around 3.30am I woke up, contracting again…however that was a fairly standard time for me to be up throughout this pregnancy. So, in order not to disturb my husband too much I thought I’d take myself downstairs. I started retiming my contractions, and just generally pottering around. Contractions were again mild, but were coming every 3ish minutes. So, I thought, whilst they were still bearable, that I better do something vital before I went….dye my hair..!! I have to say that I’ve not dyed my hair quite so early in the morning before! So, hair was dyed and legs were shaved…no way was this baby coming out to see an ugly mummy! Anyway, around 6am I went and had my shower and started collating my stuff – my bags were packed for a good number of weeks by this point. My Husband was awake – well, I don’t think he had really ever been asleep, so we called the hospital and then called my Mum – she needed to come and look after my elder daughter.
It took around 30 mins for my Mum to arrive. We decided as it was almost 7am that we would wake my daughter up to say “bye bye” to her and explain what was happening, rather than just have her waking up to find Gran looking after her with no explanation. I got a little bit teary as I was giving her a cuddle goodbye – I was very conscious throughout this pregnancy that I was going to change her life forever. I always felt as if I was somehow betraying her, and I was bringing another little person into her family to take up my time, without her knowledge or approval…so I felt very emotional knowing that I was leaving to go to the hospital…
So, around 7am we headed to the hospital, which is only about 5 minutes drive away – although I have discovered that in-car contractions are far far more painful than out of car contractions! They checked me in at the hospital, and I was taken through into my labour ward room. The midwives did all their paperwork, put the monitor on me to monitor the baby etc and we waited. The midwife was lovely, and they were still timing my contractions at around 3 in 10 minutes, mild ones. I guess they were mild as I could still talk through them and I was always told that “if you can talk through them, then they are mild”…At one point there was a bit of a debate as to what way round the baby was lying – something that there was never any debate about in this pregnancy – but they brought one of the obstetricians and a mobile scanning machine through, just to make sure that the bump they thought was a head really was.
Over the next few hours they monitored me and the baby, and kept and eye on us, then sent us out for a walk and something to eat…until finally around 11:30 we had a bit of a midwife conference with my midwife and the sister in charge. They basically felt that I was still in very early labour – I was possibly around 3cm dilated, but they felt that my cervix was sort of conical, so what was 3cms was the lower part, and actually in reality I wasn’t 3cms dilated at the “working end” – the midwife also couldn’t feel anything of the baby through my cervix – basically to encourage your cervix to open it kind of needs be baby to be applying pressure to it, so in an ideal world she should have been able to feel the baby’s head applying this pressure to it, but couldn’t.
So they decided that it was either very early labour, or a false alarm (I suspect at this point I was told that this could go on for “days”), and, as I live so close, I was to go home. *IF* I was still contracting at 5pm I was to call them, so that they could check me over before they went off shift at 7pm – they figured that it was best if one of them who had already seen me saw me again.
So, home we came, and sat here for around 5 and a half hours timing contractions until 5pm came round. And yes, they were very very regular – every 5 minutes, lasting a minute…..So I called back to speak to one of the midwives I had seen that morning. However, the story seemed to have changed – what I had been told that morning was “call back and if you are still contracting you can come back and we can discuss the options with you, give you another examination and see if you have progressed”. When I called back however the story had changed to “your contractions have gone from 3 in 10 minutes, to 2 in 10 minutes, so they have tailed off, so stay at home – this could go on for days”….Well by this time I had been contracting every 5 minutes for 13+ hours, and we really weren’t all that happy that the story had been changed – yes I was having 2 contractions in 10 minutes rather than 3, but they were longer and they were noticeably stronger.
However, we stayed at home, continuing to time my contractions which were staying at 5 minutes apart but were getting stronger. I knew that the day shift were relived at 7pm, so the plan was to wait until after then and call back and see what the options were – by this time I was sore and tired.
Around 9pm we called back and had a new midwife on who told us that we could come in, and at least get some pain relief, get another examination, go on the monitor to check the baby was okay, and then we could decide whether to continue to “try” with labour, or discuss the other possibilities.
So, by 10pm, and after more “in car contractions”, we were back in the labour ward. This time unfortunately they didn’t have a labour room for me, so they put me in a holding area,
They did another examination only to discover that basically the situation was exactly as it had been that morning – 3 cms dilated, still conical, still no “presenting part” of the baby to be felt. So, basically I had been contracting regularly for around 19 hours and got precisely nowhere.
Now, I’m not an obstetrician, but after 19 hours of contractions going nowhere, I just knew – and knowing my body from the past – that frankly this was never going to work. Yes I wanted to try and have a “natural birth”, but I’m aware that my body doesn’t have a good record on things like this, and 19 hours had left me sore and tired, and not in any way dilated.
The Consultant was coming round anyway and I spoke to her about what the options were – basically was this contracting ever likely to go anywhere, when did we make the choice to have a section etc. I was told that this stage of “early labour” could last for a long time, or could tail off, I’d be no further forward, and may still come in to the hospital in 6 days time for my planned induction. I was also told that old immortal phrase of “its not called labour for nothing” when I mentioned that I wasn’t coping well with 19 hours of contractions.
However, I think given the situation I stood my ground quite well and let it be known that if a section was possible, then that would be the preferred option for me. I had the feeling that there was a lot of reluctance to give me a section, but I’m hoping that was just out of hospital practicalities and the fact that the theatre team were now looking at quite a long night, rather than the reluctance being due to them being narked at me for wanting to have a natural birth and then “failing” at the first hurdle. I think they thought I was going for the easy way out.
I was added on to the theatre list – I was number 4 as I wasn’t an emergency and we were looking at a long night. All this happened while I was still in the holding area as there were no labour rooms available for me.
Unfortunately the last examination that I had, had “stirred things up” which can happen, and was causing me to have very very bad contractions. We knew that we were on the theatre list, and it was just a case of waiting these out until it was my turn. However the very very strong contractions became stronger and more frequent. I was put on a monitor for the baby, and I thought the baby’s heart-rate was getting very high, so I was monitoring it with every contraction. However, no-one else was monitoring this as I was essentially in there myself (with my husband). I was still in the holding area at this moment – I’ve always known that I was never going to be a “screamer” in labour, but I was very conscious of the other people being there when these contractions were so strong – I had to moan a little but I was trying to be restrained as well.
Over the few hours that this was happening, while we waited to go into theatre, As I was on the thetre list I wasn't allowed any pain relief at all. I tried changing position to deal with the contractions – I don’t know if it helped really but all this standing up and sitting down gave me something to do at least. I discovered that if my husband pushed really quite hard on my lower back that helped slightly. Finally I staggered to the nurses’ station in the recovery room and said that I was sorry, I really felt that I couldn’t take any more, was there *anything* they could give me while I waited to go to theatre. Unfortunately they said there wasn’t because I was due to go to theatre.
Then, frankly, the Mexican soap opera started…
I stood up for a contraction and was waiting for my husband to rub my back – only for him not to do it. I looked over to where he was, only to see him collapse. I screamed for help, he rallied a bit, mumbled “I’m alright..” and then collapsed completely, shaking, on the floor. By this time people had responded to my shouts and a midwife caught him and eased him to the floor.
They helped him onto the bed and decided that they had to call an ambulance for him – not only did he collapse but as he was shaking so much when he fell they didn’t know if he was having a fit as well. They admitted that as midwives they were really not experienced in deciding if he was alright, and that he had to go to A&E. The ambulance men arrived and gave Brian some oxygen, took his pulse etc. Neither of us wanted him to go – I was having these horrendous contractions and waiting to go into theatre, and my husband wanted to be with me, and his baby. I made the ambulance men promise to have him triaged through A&E quickly and back to me and they promised that they would.
As the ambulance men were taking my husband out of the recovery room, I felt a pop, and my waters broke in a big flood all over the floor. I could see that there was meconium in my waters and I knew that was a sign that the baby was in distress.
All of a sudden I was very quickly being wheeled into theatre, still contracting very very strongly, but now having to hang on to the poor midwife’s hand because my husband wasn’t there. By this point I knew that I couldn’t handle another single contraction and I asked for a general anaesthetic so that I would be “out” quickly and have some relief from the contractions. There is a rule that fathers can’t be in the theatre if there is a general anaesthetic, but that didn’t matter to me as he wasn’t there anyway, and I was feeling very vulnerable and very alone ad downright scared. However, they were very quick at getting the spinal in, and that stopped the contractions absolutely immediately which I was so relieved about.
When the spinal had taken full effect, the theatre team swung into action, and Kirsty was delivered quickly. I remember form my first section that they always say there “might be some pushing and pulling” but I don’t remember the first time this actually happening. However this time there was a huge amount of pulling from the bottom, and one of the drs having to push from the top of my bump very very hard – it felt like her feet were off the floor shoving my bump downwards. I can genuinely say, hand on heart, that I really had no preference as to whether the baby was a boy or a girl, so either was I was elated. Kirsty was wiped and wrapped up and handed to me to cuddle while they “finished off”. She looked so angry at being dragged into this very bright theatre, but she didn’t get too upset. She had a very red and wrinkly face though! She was born at 02:36 am on 6th September 2006. The pushing and pulling had been because she was completely wedged inside me – her feet wedged under my right ribs, and her head wedged on top of my pelvis on the left hand side – which explains why not only could the midwife not feel a “presenting part” of her, but also why my cervix wasn’t being encouraged to open.
There were however complications with the procedure. It was expected that after 1 section that there would be *some* scar tissue, however there appeared to be a very large amount of scar tissue, and a large amount of abdominal adhesions – where the internal organs become fused together by scar tissue. In addition to this (which makes it very difficult to cut through, and also quite dangerous as there is a danger of puncturing the organs that are fused together) there were a good number of hernias. The theatre team bleeped the main hospital for one of their surgeons to come down to advise. They repaired a couple of the small hernias, had to leave a few more, especially the larger ones. They also discovered a hernia at the back of my bladder which caused some concern, and also caused them some concern that my bladder had been damaged meaning they had to fill it with blue dye, to see if they could see any leaks. The surgeon did ask if I had ever had problems with my abdomen, which I genuinely haven’t had – which they were surprised about, as my abdomen as its “a mess” inside apparently.
This all took a very long time and in the end there was concern that my spinal block would wear off before they were finished, and they had a general anaesthesia ready to go should it be needed. In the end they stapled me up quite quickly (it really does sound like a stple gun you would use in the house, so it is kind of freaky when you know they are actually stapling up *you* rather than some upholstery).
I was taken back to recovery where my husband was waiting for me. I discovered that the ambulance men had made sure that he was triaged very quickly through A&E and was actually back in the labour ward about 4 minutes after I had gone through to theatre. However as I had already gone through, they wouldn’t let him come in. So he missed Kirsty being born by 4 minutes. The staff had called through to him to let him know that she was born and that she was a girl.
In the end, after a cuddle he went home – I suspect it had almost been as physically hard on him as it had been on me, and I was in a better physical shape to start with. The most important thing was that he was physically alright rather than that I had company in recovery, whilst I was probably just going to dose anyway.
I was transferred to the ward at around 6am, and my husband came back at around 9, with my daughter, my Mum, my Mother in Law and her husband all coming to visit that morning to see Kirsty
My recovery for the first wee while was fairly textbook – apart from having blue wee due to the dye they had to use in theatre in my bladder. However, on the second day they discovered that my wound was leaking fluid – at that point actually it was “spurting” fluid rather than just leaking. Over the next 4 days this continued to cause concern as the 2 sides of the wound weren’t knitting together, and there was still a large amount of fluid leaking from it – the amount of fluid wasn’t tailing off at all over time.
I was initially to be kept in until 5 days after my section due to my wound problems, as they wanted to take the first lot of staples out whilst I was in the hospital rather than having my community midwife taking them out at home where I couldn’t be quite so closely monitored. When they took the alternate staples out (the plan was to take every alternate staple out on day 5 and then the rest on day 6), it was clear that the wound wasn’t healing at all. The midwives called on of the registrars round to see me, and I was told that I wasn’t going home that day. After 5 days in hospital and quite a hard time, I was very emotional and have to say that I spent most of day 5 in tears. The staff, especially my midwife and my registrar were lovely and very understanding about how I was feeling and also with regard to the situation at home.
I had to wait another day for the “Tissue Viability” nurse to come and investigate my wound to see what the options were as far as dressing it, or otherwise, to help it heal. The solution from the Tissue Viability nurse would have involved daily dressings by a district nurse for around 6 months. The lovely Registrar agreed with me that with a new baby, and a very active (and slightly high maintenance 2.5 year old) that this wasn’t really a viable solution. It was decided that I would need to return to theatre to be re-stitched. Whilst it would mean a few extra days in hospital, that needed to be balanced with the inconvenience of daily district nurse visits for 6 months.
So on Wednesday 13th September I returned to theatre, to have another spinal, and to be cut open again, in order to be re-stitched – basically a section but without the baby being delivered. My husband stayed with Kirsty on the ward to feed her and look after her while I couldn’t. Fortunately this second procedure didn’t need quite the same recovery time as the first and I was told that I would be able to go home on the Friday – which was a relief as every day that week I had been expecting to go home “tomorrow” and had that continually dashed.
So, Kirsty’s birth story is a saga of long unproductive labour, a collapsing Daddy, a leaking wound, and 2 sections within 7 days. Thankfully throughout all of this, Kirsty was always perfectly healthy, apart from being born in distress and having meconium in her hair for the first few days of her life. Kirsty did lose a lot of weight while we were in hospital but, I suspect that was due to being exclusively breastfed by an exhausted and rather physically traumatised Mummy. Her weight did begin to pick up as I recovered physically from the birth.
My husband is still very upset to have missed the birth – yes, a generation ago most men missed the births of their children, but he was at our elder daughter's birth and the plan was for him to be at Kirsty’s too. The manner in which he missed it didn’t help either. Also he felt that he was the subject of a goodly number of “1970’s sitcom” style jokes and comments in A&E – you can imagine the “Terry and June” style stories about father’s collapsing in the maternity hospital. However, he collapsed because he was exhausted and ill (and has been for a number of months) rather than because of anything that was actually happening in the maternity hospital. He was brilliant throughout the 10 days I was in hospital at not only running back and forward to the hospital, but looking after an increasingly traumatised elder daughter, and running the household, despite his own physical problems and exhaustion.
However, Kirsty is, and has been throughout, perfectly healthy, and that helps us all handle what has happened. I’m a big girl, and I’m fairly robust, with the constitution of an ox, so if all of this saga happened to anyone, it was best that it happened to me!