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In
Gloucestershire, nearly 500 children are in foster care with around
210 carers.
Charles
Welsh, from Gloucester, has first hand experience of what it's like
to grow up in a foster home.
After
the sudden death of his parents, Charles and his siblings were fostered
by his aunt and moved to Scotland.
 It
was a very traumatic period, obviously going through such loss
leaves its scars. But with my situation and having my own brothers
and sisters about me, and an extended support network in my
parents extended families in Scotland, it made a huge difference.
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| Charles
Welsh |
Charles
said: "When
I was seven my father died and we were living in Huddersfield at
the time.
"Within
six months of that my mother was diagnosed as being terminally ill,
and within two year she died.
"We
then moved to Scotland and together with my five brothers and sisters
moved into my aunt’s house."
To
foster or adopt
Although
Charles spent his teenage years living with his foster parents,
he was never officially adopted.
"To
be honest it was because we didn’t want to be. My aunt was in her
sixties at the time, and was retired and so was my uncle Joseph.
"There
were six children, the oldest being 14 and the youngest was 8 years
old who all descended on their household.
"We
as a group of children were very strong and wanted to keep our own
identity and our name – Welsh.
"We
wanted to remain as a unit and my foster parents at that time respected
that. They wanted us to remain as a family whilst we were living
with them."
Coping
with death
The
death of his parents had a profound effect on the 10 year old Charles.
"It
was a very traumatic period, obviously going through such loss leaves
its scars. But with my situation and having my own brothers and
sisters about me, and an extended support network in my parents
extended families in Scotland, it made a huge difference.
Today
Charles
thinks it is extremely important for children in foster care to
keep their own identity.
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If you’re transferred into a new set of
family boundaries and parenting skills, the thing that holds
you together is you.
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| Charles
Welsh |
“Your
identity is the one thing you own and as you grow up it's your self
confidence, your self belief, your culture, your heritage and it’s
your personality. If you’re transferred into a new set of family
boundaries and parenting skills, the thing that holds you together
is you.
"You
have to adapt and you have to change, but you have to remain honest
to yourself because in later life you have to deal with things,
and having that self confidence and self belief you can then translate
it into other areas as a young child.
"If
you lose that, when you get older as a lot of children in foster
care, adopted children, or children abandoned in homes, find it
very difficult to create stability and very difficult to deal with
problems as they arise. They tend to run away from it. I
was fortunate to have that security built into my foster relationship."
Guilt
After
the death of his parents and the journey to Scotland Charles experienced
a malestrom of emotions about his situation.
"There
was a whole mismatch of competing thoughts, some which were complementary
and some which were quite destructive.
"There
is a sense of guilt if you lose parents when you're a child and
you think is it something I’ve done, is there something I could
have changed? Because clearly what you want is a status quo.
"You
want to go back to the security of having your own mother and father
in your own home. Sadly
that doesn’t happen but as a child you struggle with that and that’s
part trauma and part loss."
Taking
Care
Taking
Care week highlights the fact there are large numbers of children
in care in Gloucestershire and Charles thinks it is a worthwhile
campaign.
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You can’t get anything more vulnerable
than a child who has been orphaned, or taken into care for safety
reasons, and if we don’t support them and help them then we’re
actually failing society and it’s wrong.
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| Charles
Welsh |
"If
you don’t look after the most vulnerable then society in my view
is failing. You can’t get anything more vulnerable than a child
who has been orphaned, or taken into care for safety reasons, and
if we don’t support them and help them then we’re actually failing
society and it’s wrong.
Charles
is now involved with the Cheltenham Community Fostering based in
Gloucester.
“It's
a charity looking to place children in foster homes, placing children
with families in areas they are familiar with so they don’t lose
their networks, and they don’t lose identity.
"It’s
a very worthwhile thing and I’d encourage anybody who is interesting
in fostering to contact an agency and go through the training, because
as a society we should be looking after our most vulnerable."
»If
you think you could be a foster parent call 01242 532654 or 532655
or see the to find out more.
Did
YOU grow up in care? Have you been a foster carer or adopted a child?
Share your experiences, good or bad, with ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Gloucestershire. (NB
email addresses will not be published)
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