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When the shells started falling_ _ _ _ _ _

We always just happened to be somewhere else as my friend Jack so neatly put it.
In January 1939 quite a few of us joined the 49th West Yorks, Territorial Army
in Bradford, Yorks. I was in the Army six and a half years and in the whole of
that time I was never shot at or bombed or whatever, However I did have a
fair number of Narrow Squeaks and this is an account of those incidents.

Narrow squeak number one

This was fairly early on in the war, We were stationed near Howden in East
Yorks, My job for the day was to paint one of the Huts camouflage colours
green and brown, It wasn't a very big Hut say ten feet by eight feet, I had
finished the roof and was up my ladder doing the bit above the door,Inside
the Hut were two of my mates and their job was to strip down the Lewis
Machine Gun clean it and put it together again, However they had somehow
got a 303 Cartridge stuck up the Barrel and were trying to get it out when
BANG !, I got down my ladder, I could see the Bullet hole where it had come
through the door and following it's route it had gone between the rungs of my
ladder just below my feet then right through the Cookhouse (No one in at the
time) as it went by it scored a groove right along the surface of the cook's
table, Thinking about it if I had finished my bit of painting above the door and
got down my ladder a few seconds earlier I could quite easily have missed
out on well over sixty years of living.

Narrow squeak number two

This was a bit later on we had been moved up on to the Yorkshire Wolds, On
this particular night we had been called out on a Raid but I noticed the Corporal
hadn't come out so I thought I had better see where he was, Now on this camp
we didn't have electricity laid on and for lighting we used Tilley lamps they ran
on Paraffin which when vapourised lit a mantle which gave quite a good light,
The trouble was we often ran out of Paraffin and so we used a mixture of
Petrol and Diesel which sometimes worked - but not this time, When I got to the
Corporals Hut the Tilley lamp was in the middle of the floor with flames coming
from it about three feet high, I grabbed a white water can hoping to douse the
flames, The Corporal saw what I was doing and shouted "Stop that's Petrol"
I very nearly had my eye-brows singed at least.



Narrow Squeak number three

This was much later in the war, We were on an Infantry Training Course near
Helmsley in North Yorks, The Camp was made up of Nissan Huts -- half round
tops of corrugated iron, They had been erected in this wood which consisted
of huge Beech Trees, They provided good camouflage, On this particular
night there was a terrific storm and when we looked out next morning six of
these big Beech trees had been blown down,One of these was lying parallel
with our Nissan Hut, Just a few points to the left and our Hut would have been
flattened, An odd thing was that we had all slept right through the storm.

Narrow Squeak number four

This was while we were on the same Infantry Training Course, On this
particular day our Company was attacking a Pill - Box in the time honoured
British Army way, Three sections the centre section opened fire on the
Pill - Box while the two other sections on the flanks moved forward and then
they opened fire so that the centre section could advance beyond the two
other sections and then open fire and so on, I was on the left flank and
unfortunately the right flank had advanced too far round and their fire was
hitting the rocks just below where I was lying and the bullets were ricocheying
all over the place, I had my tin hat on so I lay quite still until we got the cease
fire.

Narrow Squeak number five (Of a minor nature)

Our first camp was near a village called Laxton in East Yorks, On our night
off it was a long walk into Goole so a few of us had our cycles sent out to the
Camp which made life a bit easier, The cycles though were just parked round
the back of the Hut in all weathers, So one dark night my friend Arthur and I
decided to have a look round the Goods Yard of the local Station to see if
there was the odd Tarpaulin lying about that nobody wanted, I was walking
along between the rails unaware of the clever system that was in operation,
The Coal Yard was arranged so that Coal Lorries could back under the Goods
Railway line and the coal would drop down through a trap door under the coal
wagon through a big gap in the Goods Line into the Lorry, I never remembered
what happened but when I fell through the gap I actually banged the back of my
head on a sleeper, I was knocked out for a few minutes and was moaning a lot
so that my friend Arthur was worried the Station Master might be alerted and so
come and see what was going on, However Arthur got me back up to the camp
where it was decided I had concussion and was excused Guard Duty which was
nice as after a good nights sleep I was OK.
Narrow Squeak number six (Of a minor nature)
This was at the same camp near Laxton, The Cook had gone home on leave
and I had volunteered to be Cook, Now this Camp didn't have water laid on it
had to be fetched in cans in the Lorry , that day we needed water, As it
happened our detachment had to go into HQ for training, The Cook stayed
behind which was one of the perks, The Lorry Driver wasn't ready so I
offered to go fetch the water in the Lorry from the village, The Lorry was an
old TSM a relic of the 14/18 war, You just pressed the accelerator and away
you went a bit like the Dodgems, Vroom Vroom,It was winter and the roads
were icy and at the first
sharp bend in the Village the Lorry wouldn't straighten up and went straight
round into a big dyke at the side of the road, I was just a bit shaken up but
the Lorry looked a bit of a mess, As it happened the son of the local Farmer
saw what had happened and he got his new Tractor out and with the help of
some wooden boards was able to drag the Lorry out of the dyke which then
didn't look too bad, In due course the Sergeant Mechanic arrived with two
assistants from HQ, They seemed to take ages checking over the Lorry but
eventually away they went towing the Lorry into HQ, I was worried alright as I
wasn't supposed to drive the Lorry, I waited anxiuosly for my call to HQ but
the days slipped by without a call then after about a week news filtered through
that the front tyres of the Lorry had been worn bare and as it was the job of the
Sergeant Mechanic to have seen new tyres were fitted he hushed the whole
thing up and I never heard anymore about it.

Narrow Squeak number seven (Of a general nature)

It would have been 1942 when we were stationed up on the Yorkshire Wolds
things had gone very quiet and we were bored !, Now each evening on the RT
we were getting requests for volunteers for all kinds of things, Glider Pilots
Airbourne Troops etc which we put our names down for, Then one evening
they wanted a volunteer for somebody doing my job for a unit going abroad
so perhaps without thinking I put my name down and next day I was off into HQ
for inoculations and then off home on 14 days embarkation leave, After that I
reported to my new Regiment "The Sherwood Foresters" and then on to my
Detachment which was in the sand dunes just south of Cleethorpes, I arrived
there late at night but next morning at breakfast I said to the chap sitting next to
me "So when are we going abroad then" He replied "We're not, It has all fallen
through" I was quite stunned, I resolved never to volunteer for anything again,

Narrow Squeak number eight(Of a general nature)

Back at the Infantry Training Course near Helmsley, This course was specializing
in the use of mobile boats, They were just made of wood and canvass and four
men could carry one but they would hold sixteen men, The thinking behind this
was that it was thought our troops in Germany would have trouble getting over the
Rhine and that is where we would come in, However as it happened our Troops
got over the Rhine without too much trouble and without any help from us,
More importantly just as our Infantry course was ending so was the war in Europe.
But that wasn't the end.
Narrow Squeak number nine (Of a general nature)

In no time at all we found ourselves on a train bound for Pembrokeshire in South
Wales going on a Jungle Warfare Course,I thought "Blimey" (Or words to that
effect) after all those years I was going to end up in the Far East fighting the Japs,
I was worried, However just when our Course was about half way through,
Literally, Out of the blue the two Atom bombs were dropped on Japan and that
was the end of the war with Japan and the end of our Jungle Warfare Course.

I actually ended up in the Cameron Highlanders stationed at Cameron Barracks
near Inverness.I learned to love the sound of the Bagpipes and although I am a
Yorkshire man the sound of the Pipes still pulls at the heart strings,
I was Demobbed in March 1946 from a big Army Camp near Hawick just over
the Border, When the big day came about fifty of us marched off down to the
local Railway Station being led by the Pipe Band, I thought it sounded great,
As we waited for the train the Pipers carried on playing as they marched
backwards and forwards the length of the platform. As the train pulled out they
played "Will ye no come back again" It was all very emotional, You see we
were not just being Demobbed, We were being called up for Civvy Street.

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