Christmas Sucks
By John McMenamin
Lop-sided trees
And fairy lights
Rows in pubs
Which end in fights.
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Drunken Santas
Ho-Ho-Ho
Puckered lips
And Mistletoe.
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Buskers singing
Songs of gladness
Cheap wine helps
To drown the sadness.
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Big Aggie, bought some festive drawers
With holly around the gusset
They didn’t have them in snow white
They’re a funny shade of russet.
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Naked birds
In cellophane
Plucked and waxed
They look obscene.
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Wee Andy’s clinging to the bar
Two candles at his nose
His face is white as virgin snow
Yet his nose, red as the rose?
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Christmas shopping
Crowded stores
Enter by
The swinging doors.
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Angry faces
Children huffin’
“Maggie, don’t forget
The stuffing.â€
Children crying with exhaustion
Screaming like banshees
Clinging like a limpet
To Mummy’s tired knees.
After shave
For Uncle Harry
A pair of socks
For cousin Larry.
Would your Mother wear this hat?
Where the hell’s wee Jimmy at?
Why did we leave it oh so late?
I don’t feel love, I’m full of hate.
Red faced man
Buys saucy knickers
Children fight
Spouses bickers.
Christmas Eve
Let’s all be merry
I’ll have a brandy
To hell with sherry.
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