ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½

1. Simon from Blue helped them get together

The couple met when Emma was a presenter on MTV and Matt was a member of the band Busted. “[Busted’s song] Crash The Wedding was out, so we did a little fake wedding for them [on MTV],” says Emma. “I was Matt’s bridesmaid. That’s the first time I ever met him.” However, they didn’t really speak because Matt was, by his description, “weird and shy”.

Matt Willis in the How to Be in Love studio

The pair only started dating thanks to another popstar, when a friend of Emma’s found a way to get a message to Matt. “I got a knock on the [dressing room] door from Simon Webb from Blue,” says Matt. “Bear in mind, I’d never really chatted to him ever… He passed me a phone and it’s Tim Cash from MTV News… He said, ‘Emma Griffiths [her name pre-marriage] is trying to get hold of you.’” But, says Emma, “He waited three days to call me!” They married in 2008.

2. Through his addiction, Emma knew she’d never leave Matt

Matt has dealt with addiction to drugs and alcohol since he was 18. He’s been through rehabilitation treatment multiple times. The couple spoke about Matt’s addiction in the 2023 documentary Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction. Matt says his relationship with Emma was the anchor in his recovery process.

“I always knew I had to [get clean] and I wanted to because I wanted her,” says Matt. “I wanted it for myself as well. I didn’t want to live that miserable, horrible, agonising life [of addiction] anymore. But I knew there was something worth fighting for. That’s what got me through those dark times.”

3. Emma was “terrified” of telling the world their story

Emma says, “Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely situations that are not worth fighting for… But in our situation, it 100% was worth fighting for because for me, I knew that Matt was the right person for me… I knew he was unwell but didn’t want to be unwell… I knew I would never leave him.”

She was, however, “terrified” of talking about their life in the documentary. “I thought, ‘Do I want to feel that again? Do I want to bring that up?... Have we dealt with it?’” She was frightened about how it might affect Matt, but they spoke about the reason for making the documentary. “[Matt] said to me, ‘You have to be super-honest. We’re making something to try to help people and unless we’re both honest in it, we’re not doing that.’”

4. Couples therapy changed their relationship

Matt and Emma are advocates for couples’ therapy, which Emma calls “one of the best things we’ve ever done.” She was initially reluctant. “I [said], ‘Why? There’s nothing wrong. We don’t need it.’ Matt had obviously benefited from quite a bit of [therapy] in the past, so he knew what he was talking about. I am so, so pleased that he suggested it. That has got such stigma as well. People think if you go to couples’ therapy you must be [in trouble]. Actually, I’m glad we went when we went because it absolutely had a positive effect on our relationship… It’s about knowing how to communicate.”

Emma Willis in the How to Be in Love studio

I’m glad we went when we went because it absolutely had a positive effect on our relationship… It’s about knowing how to communicate.

Emma Willis on couples therapy

5. They now feel like “two captains of this ship”

Both Matt and Emma describe themselves as “sensitive people”, which made them both afraid to say anything to the other for fear of upsetting them. “We’re both very aware of not wanting to ever hurt the other one’s feelings,” says Emma, “so you then end up tiptoeing around things.”

Matt says that due to his addiction, “there had been a lot of our relationship where I had to be looked after, but I was kind of changing and morphing [through recovery], and our relationship was changing. We didn’t know how to deal with that.” They came to realise that a relationship didn’t have to be about being taken care of. It could be about being equals. “There can be two captains of the ship,” he says.

6. Matt changed when he became a dad

Matt and Emma have three children. “The minute I watched Matt become a dad, I saw him change, like physically,” says Emma. “The minute he held her… He just became a different person. Pure, selfless love.”

Matt says, “I’d been worried about that… I couldn’t imagine suddenly having this thing that I was expected to love… It got overwhelming… Then it happened and instantly everything changed. It forced me to go, ‘All those thoughts you have of self-doubt or… that you’re not good enough’, I could let go of a lot of those… because I have to deliver for this thing.”

7. Love is something worth “staying in the ring for”

Through the tough times, Matt and Emma say they’ve both always known they love each other and want to be together. Emma says love is not just about being happy, but working together through the difficulties to get back to being happy.

“It’s a continued commitment to each other that’s worth fighting for,” she says, “You can look at some relationships and think, ‘Oh god, they’ve got a great relationship.’ But none of us know what’s going on for anybody under the surface. Everybody’s facing something. For me, [love is] the person that you’re willing to stay in the ring for.”