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Lana Estemirova grew up in Chechnya in the 1990s, the daughter of the human rights activist Natalya Estemirova, who was assassinated when Lana was only 15. This memoir is dedicated to her mother.

Lana tells the story of her childhood, and what happened to her after her mother died. There was a powerful bond between mother and daughter, ‘an invisible thread that could never be broken, not even by death’. Sometimes Lana is sent to live with relatives, but wherever possible Natalya brings her young daughter to live with her in Grozny - and so Lana is able to give us a vivid child’s eye view of what it is like to grow up in a warzone. There is terrifying danger, but also a lot of fun, and even deep happiness.

This fourth episode opens when Lana is seven, in April 2001, and the first phase of the second Chechen war seemed to be over. But the streets are still very dangerous, and one evening they narrowly survive being shot by laughing soldiers.

‘The next day I went to school as if nothing had happened. Our teacher did her best to disguise the sorry state of our classroom, which was missing both a door and glass in the windows. My classmates and I kept our coats on all day and puffed cold air from our lungs, pretending that we were smoking cigarettes…’

Her mother Natalya continues her human rights work, and their flat is filled with activists, lawyers and journalists. The most frequent guest is her mother’s close friend, the journalist Anna Politkovskaya, or 'Anya'. This episode focuses on Lana’s memories of Anya, and of the day – 7th October 2006 – when they learn of her assassination.

‘I didn’t realise back then that Anya’s murder would change the course of our lives.’

Read by Ell Potter

Produced and abridged by Elizabeth Burke

Studio Production and Sound Design by Jon Calver

Executive Producer: Sara Davies

A Loftus Media production for ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Radio 4

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