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Bonobos are related to chimpanzees, and have evolved in isolation in the forests of the Congo where they live in tight family groups. Noticeable is the placid atmosphere that reigns among them. The individuals stick together as they forage around the forest. Even an explosive argument boils down to the aggrieved party thrashing a branch rather than resorting to violence. But most significant of all, sex and sexual play has been adopted as a way of appeasing each other. After an argument males make genital contact, the bonobos’ way of shaking hands. Sex and genitalia, the very currency of power between the sexes, are continually on show and become social assets rather than demonstrations of dominance. Young and old alike freely engage in brief bursts of sexual behaviour. In this context it’s ritualised, but none will lead to conception. When females are ready to conceive, the male bonobos compete genitally with each other, but for most of the time social stresses are gently dissipated. This use of sexual behaviour by these erotic apes is exceptional. In most species sex brings males and females into sharp conflict, often with wasteful consequences.