蜜芽传媒

Recently I was privileged to be interviewing Archbishop Desmond Tutu, winner of this year鈥檚 Templeton Prize, which has previous winners as diverse as Mother Teresa and the astronomer Martin Rees. Father Desmond was being recognised for his contribution to the African concept of Ubuntu and his advancement of spiritual progress..
Ubuntu, he explained, means that we are persons in relation to other persons. We exist within family, community, our ties to others 鈥� something which all major faiths put great emphasis on. Honour mother and father. Love your brothers and sisters. Fathers, don鈥檛 exasperate your children. Husbands, love your wives.
We鈥檝e heard in the news the extraordinary claims of a pregnant Italian, apparently sectioned and sedated during a brief trip to this country, who woke to find she had been given a caesarean section and her child had been taken into Care, though we are told she has family at home in Italy and a sister in law in America.
We all know social workers can be damned if they do and damned if they don鈥檛, and it must be damn difficult to get it right. The full facts of this case are yet to emerge, and tragically, children can occasionally be at risk from their families 鈥� yes, even their own mothers. The recent cases of Peter Connelly, Daniel Pelka and Hamzah Kahn were truly appalling, and we all wish we could turn the clock back and protect these children.
But something always puzzles me, when we publicly debate this dilemma. We pit child鈥檚 rights against adults鈥� rights, and the child鈥檚 rights trump all. The MP John Hemming, calling for more openness in family courts, said, 鈥淭he 鈥榖est interests of the child鈥� are 鈥榩aramount鈥� ... and family ties carry no substantial weight. In essence, families count for nothing in the modern family court.鈥�
I believe we perpetuate a false dichotomy. A child鈥檚 welfare is not at odds with its family. We should never weigh the right of a child against the rights of adults: it can never be an even contest. Rather, we should weigh the child鈥檚 right against itself. The child鈥檚 right to family against the child鈥檚 right to safety.
It is always a terrible thing to take a child away from its family. Occasionally, appallingly, it can be worse thing to not to do so. Somewhere in this country a young Italian child has until now lost its mother, its siblings, its grandmother and its aunties 鈥� as well as its beautiful country of origin 鈥� and whatever the reasons behind the decision and whether or not it is permanent, that loss should make us weep.
A dear friend of mine was suffering debilitating postnatal depression as the result of a close bereavement, and feared the harm it was doing her baby. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 understand you Westeners,鈥� her black midwife said. 鈥淎t home your baby would be cared for by sisters, friends, aunties, your mummy, while you rested as long as you needed.鈥�
Ubuntu. Where is our sense of it?