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Dr Chetna Kang - 16/12/2017

Thought for the Day

Nine days and counting, irrespective of religion or culture, in just nine days many families and friends will be getting together possibly, for the only time this year. The prospect of re-connecting and exchanging love, fills the air with excitement and anticipation. Unfortunately, for some, Christmas time is an acute reminder of how alone they feel and the Jo Cox commission into tackling loneliness shines a light on how widespread the problem of loneliness is, crossing generations and cultures.

Loneliness isn't necessarily a symptom of being alone. There are times where we can feel so disconnected that we could be in a crowded room and feel completely alone. On the other hand, many people seek isolation in order to connect through practices such as yoga, meditation and prayer.

The Vedic texts say that it is our nature to be in constant connection by receiving love and also offering our love to others. In the Upadesamrita, the saint Rupa Goswami describes six loving exchanges: to give gifts, to receive gifts, to reveal one’s mind and heart in confidence, to inquire from others confidentially, to accept sanctified food and last but not least to feed others. These 6 exchanges he says, keep society healthy, united and cooperative. I would suggest most current social strategies to combat loneliness combine some or all of these 6 activities. Rupa Goswami also describes how when these are carried out as a vehicle to connect with Krishna or the divine, they accelerate people’s spiritual development because they feel even more satisfied when they know and connect with their origin.

If I put on my psychiatrist’s hat this makes a lot of sense; having strong connections with familial or cultural origins brings a sense of psychological strength rooted in a clear identity and can help to protect us from loneliness. Unfortunately, this can be disrupted by time, geography and circumstance and not everyone is fortunate to have this privilege all of the time. There is clearly much work we need to do as a society on this. But on another level, the ability to build a strong connection with our spiritual roots – whether we believe in a personal God or not - is something that's said to transcend time and space and can be done anywhere at anytime, bringing about the possibility, for me, that there is a permanent solution to loneliness.

Every person questions who they are at some point - the answer to this, like us is multi dimensional. I think that Knowing our spiritual origin is just as important as knowing our parental and cultural origin in finding out who we are and serves to make us better connected because in any relationship the more secure I am in my identity the more successful that relationship will be.

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3 minutes