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Rev Canon Dr Jennifer Smith - 07/01/2025

Thought for the Day

Good morning. Amidst our headlines, a quieter but no less important story caught my attention.

A recent study measured social attitudes to silence across 21 different countries: not just any silence, but the particular unplanned silence when conversation dries up.

None of us likes being uncomfortable, but is there ever value to an awkward silence? I want to say yes, despite the cringe of it.

The survey found that on average, a person finds silence awkward after 6.8 seconds. There were clear national trends, tracking cultural differences. In some places silence indicates respect or thoughtful attention, in others politeness demands that we ease any tension by speaking. Brazilians were the least comfortable at 5 and a half seconds while we in the United Kingdom last 7.1 seconds before we find a period of silence awkward.

There are no such silences in Elon Musk’s communication on X, nor on social media generally: the lack of it means we lob bits of free speech at one another without the discipline of having to deal with the harm we do or the lies we tell in real time. John Stuart Mill, in his essay ‘On Liberty,’ suggests that the social pressure of silence is far more effective than any law when it comes to moderating speech.

In the Christian Gospels, silences are not a neutral thing, they often play a positive and important role in moderating our conversation, so free speech stands a better chance of being good speech.

The Gospels record a number of these constructive silences, usually provoked by Jesus himself. ‘What were you arguing about?’ He asked his disciples. There was an embarrassed silence: he had caught them out arguing over who was greatest.

Or remember the lynch mob who wanted to stone a woman to death and Jesus’ response after he was asked whether it was right to enforce the laws of Moses and kill the woman: ‘Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.’ In the silence that followed the crowd dispersed: a lynching was stopped not by shouting, nor law, but silence.

Good communication across cultures is not just about speaking other languages, but being able to perceive and adapt to differences, and also to make good-humoured space for others. In the pause I might even think before speaking, or change my mind having been confronted by something I didn’t want to see.

Preserving space for the awkward silence is a wildly countercultural thing, in our politics of strong message and simple sound byte. But it might just allow us all space to know each other better, to have less anxiety, to avert harm and even to find solutions to our problems. Maybe.

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3 minutes