ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½

Available for over a year

Many of us may feel lonely at times but few of us feel what is termed extreme loneliness. A recent study from the university of Chicago claims that extreme loneliness on a long term basis can be worse than obesity in increasing the health risks which may lead to premature deaths. People may be living longer but unless they feel connected to family and friends even in retirement age, chances are that retirement or living alone is less about a prized independence and more about gradual isolation. While loneliness knows no age or class barriers, its emotional and physical effects on older people makes it a potential public health issue affecting us all in the long run. In most developed countries, our increased life expectancy is a major success story of the modern age yet, as a society we are walking between two fundamental pulls in our lives – our desire for independence and personal space and our desire to belong, whether its among family, friends or the wider community. During a recent dinner with a colleague I confessed that while I felt my life to be blessed with work and opportunities, I was also seeing less and less of my friends and relatives. As I spoke I realised that the reality was not that I didn't have time, rather if I'm honest I was choosing to do other things with my time. When I was growing up my mother would often tell me to stay connected with family and relatives after her death. It was a religious and moral imperative as the Qur'an often defined those worthy of our care and compassion to include parents, strangers orphans and relatives. Family and relatives don't always stay together for love but they have mutual rights and obligations over one another especially in times of sorrow and celebration. So doing for them and being there however challenging should be seen a religious duty. Over the years, I've realised that retaining good relations really can be a challenge and yet what do we have if we don't have family friends and relatives? Human being are relational by nature and our moral life is what happens to us in the presence of others. We need human company in our search for emotional and physical well-being and while personal space even times of solitude may be precious to us, we can never really be happy if we feel alone. Whether it’s the loneliness of unhappy relationships or simply living with no-one to talk to, our desire to feel loved and remembered never leaves us. Life doesn't give you endless possibilities in terms of money and career but it never stops giving you chances to make someone somewhere know that you're thinking of them. And for most of us this simple act is the best medicine for our long term well-being.