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I was really shocked when I saw the video this week of the actress Shoshana Roberts walking the streets of New York. Secretly recorded, it shows some of the 100-plus instances of the young woman being “cat called” and worse, over the course of 10 hour’s filming. One man even walks menacingly beside her for over five minutes. My wife was less shocked, along with, I’m sure, many other women. The film provides a visceral demonstration of what so many, especially younger women, seem to suffer daily - a stream of unwanted attention, from a lingering stare to an overt remark or gesture, or worse. And now, awfully, yet almost inevitably it seems, on-line threats of rape have followed for the actress. Most heterosexual men can’t help feeling visually attracted to women. That’s part of who we are, and it’s an important part of this issue, which we cannot avoid. However, we can help how we express, and act upon, those feelings. If and when we cross a line - even those of us who appear respectful, but who love to steal a longer look anyway - then we de-humanise both parties. If your thought-life were spoken out loud, what would you be saying as you walked down the street? Harassment of all kinds starts painfully early, among the young, and Child-line announced this week that it had 34,000 consultations with children who talked about killing themselves in the last year - most of whom were aged between 12 and 15. One 17-year-old girl spoke on this programme yesterday of how she had attempted suicide after being bullied at school and on-line. The tongue has the power of life and death, says one Biblical proverb. And it matters that we are mindful of this - death or life, in every moment, through words we think and say. It’s not just about curbing our instincts, either, but cultivating better ones: male or female, we can choose to speak words of life to those around us; to build them up, to help them flourish. It’s easy to go with the flow, but it takes courage to shape a different culture. I asked my friend Rachel about this video, and this week she’s had to stand up to three men who made sexual remarks to her on the street. But she’s brave - she goes into shops and turns over magazines which have sexualised images of women on their front covers. I was in a car recently when the driver - an older man - started making lewd remarks to me about some girls walking by. In that moment, I had a choice: laugh, awkwardly ... or speak up. I’m sorry to say I opted for the easy option. After watching this video, next time, for Shoshana, for Rachel, for my wife, for my daughters, I trust I will choose differently.