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The decision of Martin McGuinness to withdraw from public office because of serious illness has prompted many tributes to his contribution to Northern Ireland’s peace process. The former Sinn Fein deputy first minister and one-time IRA leader forged some unlikely alliances, none more improbable than that with arch-critic the Rev Dr Ian Paisley. So it wasn’t surprising to hear Ian Paisley junior commending their partnership for both saving lives, and making ‘the lives of countless people better.’ But I was fascinated by how he responded on this programme yesterday to the suggestion that many wouldn’t want to join in the praise, because they can’t forgive or forget. ‘You’re wrong,’ he said. ‘Northern Ireland and its entire people are largely a forgiving people. The issue which is a problem is forgetting and moving on…’ This can be a dilemma, of course, in any number of situations where people suffer grievously from someone else’s actions. Forgetting can be impossible. If a member of my family has been murdered, if I’ve lost an arm or a leg, or I’ll never see again, I have to ‘move on’, make what I can of a situation I would never have sought; but I can’t expect to forget - the violence done to me remains a daily reality. But forgiving is a choice - sometimes through gritted teeth and with little easing of the ongoing pain. Occasionally a person will need reassuring that what matters is that they are trying to forgive. It’s always seemed to me that the God who tells us that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven is well able to understand our true intention, even if the warm, comforting feelings are a bonus which seems a long time coming. In a period of deep division and bitterness in many areas of our public life, and when many are disappointed and fearful, perhaps Northern Ireland, as the corner of the United Kingdom which has seen by far the heaviest toll of death and destruction, is the place where we need to be looking. A forgiving people willing to move on - if that indeed is what it is - could have a lot to teach us. But forgiveness and moving on are always costly. People who’ve suffered greatly because of what others have done rarely suggest it’s all straightforward. I’ve never forgotten the words of a young Rwandan who lost his father and many friends in a massacre. He knew what he should do as a follower of Jesus but it was only after a long struggle and much prayer that he found it possible to forgive particular individuals. He went on to devote himself to the work of reconciliation. He said, ‘I often tell people, if you hear anybody talking about forgiveness lightly, it means he has never forgiven.’