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Yesterday Downing St. announced that Tracey Crouch MP is to assume the newly created position of 鈥淢inister for Loneliness.鈥 This move follows the work and recommendations of the Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness, a cross-party initiative started by the late MP who cared deeply about this issue. It is estimated that some nine million Britons experience some form of loneliness. Our aging population certainly accounts for some of this, but loneliness is increasingly effecting young people as well. The causes of this problem are no doubt multiple and complex, but there is no denying that contemporary life with its surge in solo dwellers, long hours at work, and changing family dynamics is a significant factor. The acute pain of loneliness should not be underestimated. The Talmud tells of a sage named Choni, who fell asleep for seventy years and upon awakening, realised that life had significantly moved on, and no one recognised him. Utterly alone, without a friend in the world he cried out 鈥極 Chavrutah, O Mituta鈥 meaning 鈥榗ompanionship or death.鈥 I don鈥檛 think the Talmud is being hyperbolic. It is expressing a very real and painful sentiment familiar to those who suffer from acute loneliness. While loneliness is often the cruel result of circumstances, it can sometimes be self-inflicted. An early rabbinic teaching instructs one to 鈥榓cquire a friend.鈥 Elaborating on this enigmatic teaching, Maimonides contends that true and meaningful friendships don鈥檛 just happen. They require much effort. Friendship is acquired through generosity, responsibility, empathy and patience. It takes time to build a meaningful friendship. And in a world of instant gratification, this crucial element is often overlooked. The author Antoine De Saint-Exupery captures this truth beautifully in his heart-warming and insightful tale of a little prince from another planet who falls to earth and meets a fox who wants to be his friend. 鈥楾ame me鈥 begs the fox. 鈥榃hat does tame mean鈥? Asks the little prince. 鈥業t means to establish ties鈥 says the fox, and adds 鈥極ne can only understand the things one tames. Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy ready-made things in the shops. But since there are no shops where you can buy friends, men no longer have any friends. If you want a friend, tame me鈥! Taming takes time. Additionally, it is never clear at the outset just how much time it will take for a relationship to mature. And yet the benefits of true friendship far outstrip their associated costs. Having a good friend to rely on can make all the difference in life. As the fox says to the little prince 鈥楩or what you have tamed, you become responsible forever鈥.
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