Help me out - new school
Find out more about starting at a new school.
Moving up
Moving to a new school can be scary, exciting and nerve-wracking. It’s a big life change, so even if you’re moving school along with some of your friends, it’s normal to have doubts and worries. But while you may feel a bit stressed out, new situations and meeting new people can have lots of positives too. Here’s our survival guide for starting at a new school.
Dr Aaron's advice for starting at a new school
Dealing with fears and worries
Feeling anxious can make us turn something that could be really exciting into something we dread. If you’re feeling worried about starting a new school, then try and think about the problem from a different point of view.
Anxiety can feel a lot like excitement or like worry – it’s a matter of how you look at it that counts. Starting new things will always make you feel a little anxious, it’s normal. The trick is to use that feeling to prepare you for great things to come, rather than scare you about stuff that may never happen!
Remember that when you’re anxious, it can feel like you’re the only one in the world feeling like you are. It helps to remember that everyone is in the same boat – even the teachers. So relax!
We get worried because when we don’t know what to expect, we imagine all sorts of horrible things happening to us. Sit down with a friend or family member and write down your worries. Then ask yourself, what are the chances of that happening (really)? What’s the worst thing that could happen? Is that really SO bad? Discuss it to separate the fantasy from reality.
If you’re feeling anxious about starting a new school, then plan an activity or treat for yourself for after the first day or week. Then, you’ll have something to look forward to too!
Knowing the facts always helps with anxiety. So find out if there’s a way you can make a visit to your new school before you start so you can meet some new classmates and get to know the building before your first day. If you can’t do that, see if you can talk to a slightly older person who’s been there before you – so you can find out all about it.
Tips for starting a new school
It’s completely normal to be nervous about making friends when you start a new school. But there are ways to make meeting new people easier.
Be yourself. Don’t be tempted to pretend you’re someone you’re not to try and fit in. People will like you much more for being yourself.
Get involved in school activities and clubs. It’s a great way to make friends and try new skills.
Don’t worry if things don’t settle down straight away. Sometimes it can take a while to make new friends, so don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t happen instantly.
Don’t give up. If it doesn’t work out with someone, then that’s fine, try not to feel disheartened. Just because someone doesn’t want to be friends, doesn’t mean no-one will, so move on.
The hardest part of meeting new people is really that very first “hi!” – once you get that out of your system, it breaks the ice and gets much easier. If you’re worried you won’t have anything to say, just ask lots of questions. People love to talk about themselves!
Remember that you’re not the only nervous one there. Everyone’s in the same boat, so you’re in good company.
Be positive
A new school means new teachers, new friends, new subjects and new skills. So rather than dreading it, try to see it as an opportunity. It’s important to take risks in life and be brave. Being brave isn’t about not being scared; it’s about doing it anyway. Of course it can feel scary, but with a bit of time and patience you should be OK.
For information about organisations which can offer more advice on a range of issues, check out the advice helplines page.
You can also get lots more tips and info in the Lifebabble guide to school.