 I can't help slightly disturbing visions
of Cherie Blair yawning when I study this aggressive, yet in
a mildly cynical way, inspired air intake. |
| Zog
Ziegler |
Audi's
new corporate schnozzle or schonk, as Prince Phillip would have
it, has been greeted with mixed reactions.
One
colleague wrote that it reminded him too much of an inflatable sex
doll's mouth - complete with chrome lipstick.
Others
have compared the deep tapering grille with Edvard Munch's Scream.
Disturbing
visions
Me,
myself and I can't help slightly disturbing visions of Cherie Blair
yawning when I study this aggressive, yet in a mildly cynical way,
inspired air intake.
After
recent successes at Le Mans and other global prototype sports car
events, including the Daytona 24 hours and Sebring 12 hours with
the R8, Audi are getting in cahoots with their - and Auto Union's
- racing roots.
The
inspiration comes from the pre-war Auto Union rear-engined racer,
championed by the likes of Hans Stuck and Tazio Nuvolari.
Autobahn
This
Walter de Silva penned face first frightened autobahn users when
worn on the 6.0 W12 A8 but will soon become much more familiar across
the A6 range and, eventually, all Audis - like it or not - and I
do!
I was
therefore a teeny bit chagrined that the new Audi A8 3.0 TDI quattro
still (but not for too long) comes adorned with the familiar and
much less intimidating visage.
And
as disappointments go, that was that. Every
other aspect of this device charmed me.
So,
no notable vorsprung on the style front but plenty in the technical
departments.
Large
aluminium barge
For
starters this large aluminium barge boasts a number of class leading
statistics.
It
is, I'm told, the first and only luxury saloon car to achieve full
EU4 emissions regulations that are due to kick in in 2005.
This
is remarkable given the absence of a particulate filter and the
presence of automatic/tiptronic transmission and four wheel drive.
Tarmac
rippling
With
233ps and a tarmac rippling 332lb/ft of grunt at 1400 - 3250rpm,
this A8 has another boast up its elegant sleeve - it is the best
performing and most powerful production six-cylinder diesel in the
universe and has, at 130ps per tonne, the best power/weight ratio.
Best,
best and more bloody best then.
There
are an awful lot of swirl flaps, vermicular graphite and Piezo inline
injectors to write about when the full-blown road test hits these
pages, but my gob was gently smacked by the 'variable turbine blade
geometry' featured in the turbo itself.
This
fine-tunes their position with the help of an electric actuating
motor.
Even
if I did understand all of that, I'm sure I'd still worry about
it all being an awful lot to go wrong.
That
said, I'm probably revealing my Doubting Thomas side.
A little
knowledge, they say, is a dangerous thing. This is an Audi, which
means the clever turbo is unlikely to go tits up.
Neither
will the chain drive for the camshafts, nor the oil pump at the
transmission end of the engine.
This
fancy configuration - are you keeping up? - allows for a mighty
short and compact engine - just 44cm.
Rampant
Rabbit
Chains
drive the balancer shaft, which keeps Rampant Rabbit style vibrations
to an almost unnoticeable minimum.
Chains
also drive the oil pump and camshafts, reducing the need for routine
maintenance dramatically, also they tell us.
| Chains drive the balancer shaft, which
keeps Rampant Rabbit style vibrations to an almost unnoticeable
minimum. |
| Zog
Ziegler |
Wanna
know summit else?
The
two turbo inter coolers, sorry, 'air-to-air-charge-air-inter coolers'
are installed in parallel underneath the headlights 'to obtain the
best possible through-flow and to keep pressure losses and charge
(turbo) air temperatures to a minimum'.
Vell,
vhere vould you stick your inter cooler, stupid Englander?
Subtle
step
What
never seems wrong with Audis are interiors - and the A8 3.0 TDI
quattro takes matters another subtle step further.
Quality
plastics, leather and carpets give an airy and clean feel. Even
the woody bits are good by German standards, if no match for Jaguar's.
Standard
fruit reads like a what's what of kit, inside and out there's the
usual hidden gubbins - whoopie cushions and lots of letters off
the nursery wall - ABS, EBD (Electric Brake force Distribution),
ESP (Electric Stability Programme), and good old EDL (Electronic
Diff Lock).
Your
heir or heiress will benefit from an ISOFIX child seat mounting
system.
Pain
in the arse
I struggled
with the Multimedia Interface (MMI) system but let me tell you,
it's far less of a pain in the arse than BMW's I-Drive contraption
which in the 7 Series even stumped Rear-End Hacker or REH as he
is known by those who have to go into the DC office de temps en
temps.
Should
you get the vulgar urge to entertain your fellow grid lockees on
the M25 with some, ahem, garage music, the 9 speaker sound system
with 165 watts per channel should just do the trick.
In
standard trim this A8 oil sipper runs on attractive seven-spoke
alloys and phat 235/55 rubber.
V6
diesel
Marry
all this up to Audi's natty air suspenders and the often comforting
presence of quattro four wheel drive and you get neutral steering
and flat secure cornering. Both are a match for prodigious performance
from this sophisticated and monastically quiet V6 diesel.
The
benchmark from a standstill to 62 (100kph) squirt is rattled off
in 7.8 seconds, with a top whack of 151mph on tap.
It
has an awful lot to recommend it, and for many the absence of screaming
Cherie's mouth will be seen as a bonus.
Article
by Zog Ziegler
This
article contains user-generated content (ie external contribution)
expressing a personal opinion, not the views of ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½ Gloucestershire.
|
ÃÛÑ¿´«Ã½
Gloucestershire's motoring guru Zog Ziegler is among the first to
test drive the new Audi A8 3.0 TDI quattro.
