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Radio 4,2 mins

Thought for the Day - 09/10/2013 - Rhidian Brook

Thought for the Day

Available for over a year

Good Morning, It’s no surprise that there’s been such a heartfelt response to the interview with 83-year old – Sally Labanov – after she talked with great dignity and stoicism about the nature of her home care visits. “They used to be half an hour,’ she said. ‘But by the time the care visitor had booked in and out (most aren’t paid until they’ve booked in) there was usually only ten minutes left.’ Time enough perhaps to choose between having her commode emptied or hot water bottle filled – but not both. She had not had a bath for three years. Her situation might have been exacerbated by cuts to public services, but, as she pointed out, it wasn’t just about money. This remarkably uncomplaining woman admitted that whilst she would like to have some basic physical needs met – her legs exercised, her toenails cut, her bed changed more often - what she really wanted was time to have a meal with her visitor. Or even just a chat. Or maybe a trip to the shops. She was lonely, she said, and missed the companionship of others. She wanted company as much as care – the kind of care that can’t be always be legislated for. I like the sound of Mrs Labanov but I’m not sure I like the sound of old age. Bette Davies memorably said old age wasn’t for sissies. In general it’s seen as a negative experience, commonly described as a burden. Mrs Labanov herself joked about being in God’s Waiting Room and, although she vividly gives the lie to this picture, it sometimes seems that society sees waiting to die as the main purpose of life’s final stage. Despite there being many good carers doing the best they can, we continue to see failings in meeting the needs of the elderly. Perhaps this failure is connected to the difficulty we have – unless we’ve already got there – in imagining what it is to be old. To care-free Youth, old age is something that only comes to – well – old people. They old inhabit another country. Whilst the middle aged – with their increasing intimations of what lies ahead – would rather not think about it, preferring to deny its inevitability. Both attitudes can deafen us to the needs of the old, even blind us to the fact they exist. When the Psalmist cried out to God ‘Do not cast me off in old age,’ he was afraid of being left alone. God didn’t promise to stop the aging process but he did promise to be with him in his last days. He encourages us to respect the old for their wisdom and experience; and asks that we give them our care, time and love. Most of us will be old ourselves one day. Which is why it’s so important to listen to the voices of those who’ve already got there.

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