Hello Alfonso!
Hi Alfonso and welcome to the ѿý Learning English Blog. A few years ago I was lucky enough to spend a few weeks backpacking in South America. Unfortunately I didn't go as far as Columbia, but your blog is full of such vivid descriptions I'll put it top of my list of places to visit!
After reading your description, Carnival in Barranquilla is clearly a must, but where else should I go? And where can I hear more of that hypnotic music, cumbia? I look forward to hearing more in your next blog.
LANGUAGE
Your writing is full of enthusiasm and energy, Alfonso. I don't want you to lose any of that, but I think there are things you could do to make your English easier for the readers to understand. That's what I'll concentrate on for this blog. Next time I'll look at other aspects of your English.
1. Make your sentences shorter. Some of your sentences are very long. Think about places you can split them up, and try to contain just one or two ideas in each. It gives the reader time to take a breath! Let me give you an example. Here's your opening sentence:
Barranquilla, in the Colombian northern coast and one of the main sea ports located in the Atlantic Ocean,is part of that chain of cities that make up the Colombian Caribbean, as a region full of folklore,music, joy ,magic and yellow butterflies as masterfully described by Gabriel Garcia Marquez ,in his book One hundred years of solitude,wich gave him the privilege of win , in 1982, the Nobel Prize in Literature.
Here's my version:
Barranquilla is on the northern Colombian coast. It's one of the main sea ports located on the Atlantic Ocean coast and part of a chain of cities that make up the Colombian Caribbean. It's a region full of folklore, music, joy, magic and yellow butterflies as masterfully described by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in his book One Hundred Years of Solitude. The book gave him the privilege of winning the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1982.
2. Think before you write. Spend a couple of minutes thinking about what you want to say and how you want to say it before you start writing. It will probably make your sentences clearer and easier to understand for readers.
3. Check what you've written. The beauty of computers is that you can throw all your ideas down on the page and then sort them out after. If you write that way, make sure you check what you've written afterwards. You'll soon discover that what's on the page may not be as clear as the idea you had in your head!
HOMEWORK
Alfonso has told us about a local festival in his home town of Barranquilla. My parents live in Somerset, in the west of England, only a few kilometres away from Glastonbury. Music lovers will know that Glastonbury is the location of one of the biggest music festivals in Europe. This year 135,000 people attended.
Heavy rain means that the festival sometimes turns into a mud bath, like in this picture. Oh dear...
For the homework, I'd like to hear about an event or festival which happens near you. Try to follow my writing advice and see if it helps. Good luck!
USEFUL VOCABULARY
• Backpacking - to travel using public transport carrying all your possessions in a rucksack (or backpack).
• Vivid - bright and colourful.
• Top of my list - my priority.
• A must - something you have to do.
• hypnotic - describes regular sounds which make you relax deeply.
Comment number 1.
At 4th Aug 2011, ALFONSO wrote:Hi Neal,
Thanks for your comments and advices on my writting.Be sure that I will try to follow up them as close as possible.I was reading my entry again and I acknowledge my need of improve the techniques on sentence combination and discourse markers in english sentences.Your advice and help on that topic, will be welcome.The real drive behind my writing; apart from, improve my english skills, is take away that "vicious style of write" without breath and lots of enthusiasm and energy as you told me.I´m working on it.
Thanks again.
All the best,
Alfonso
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Comment number 2.
At 4th Aug 2011, ALFONSO wrote:Hi Neil,
I mean....take away that "vicious style of write" without breath, keeping lots of enthusiasm and energy as you told me......
All the best,
Alfonso
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Comment number 3.
At 5th Aug 2011, Alexander wrote:Hi Neil.
It's realy good advise for people, who is writing blog. Everyone should take this into consideration. Thank you.
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Comment number 4.
At 7th Aug 2011, ALFONSO wrote:Hi Neil,
Here is my homework:
Colombia,the country were I come from,have a festive´spirit.As a result,colombian´s have been enjoying festivities through the whole life.Whatever happen,colombians will find out a reason to celebrate.As a result,our calendar is full of do.To illustrate,we have- between others- The Carnival of Barranquilla,The Sugar´s Cane Fair in Cali,The Sea´s Festivities in Santa Marta,The Flower´s Fair in Medellin and The Coffee´s Fair in Manizales.In addition ,all those festivities,are full of ingenuity and originality.Although,my memories call me back to Pereira and his Harvest´s Festivities.This city is located in the middle of Colombia´s coffee growers region.Moreover, celebrations spin of around this plant.As a result,visitors and revellers, have the opportunity of improve his acquaintance and expertice in this topic .Additionally,listening our beautifull music,they could drink our strong "aguardiente",regional beberage, made with sugar cane.Furthermore,they could taste our yummy food,the famous "Bandeja Paisa",a kind of plate made with a sort of beans,rice,dried ground meat with an fried egg on top,fried pork,"chorizo"(spicy and cured pork sausage),"morcilla"(sausage made with pork blood and rice.Looks and taste like blood puddin) and plantain.Be aware!You´ll need room to eat it.As we have seen,Colombia is a happy country and nice place to live.
All the best,
Alfonso
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Comment number 5.
At 10th Aug 2011, ipjmac wrote:The Festival d’Avignon is one my favourite events I attend whenever possible. It takes place in Provence for about a fortnight every year in July, it attracts all people who are keen on theatre.Even if it is a crowded touristic period, we can appreciate an enormous amount of shows all over the town, from the classical ones performed by celebrities in the “Cour d’honneur” of the Popes Palace to the modern ones spreading out in the town's small streets or everywhere we can imagine, open air, cinemas, cafés, barges on the Rhone river...The first part, quite intellectual, is called“in” and the second is called“off”. I prefer the “off”, an incredible mixture of genres where we can sometimes find sort of jewels of creation which could be the nest of the future most celebrated artists, stand-up comedians or would-be actors.
On the street we can quietly walk along with celebs not being obliged to beg for an autograph or made blind by paparazies’ flashes. The atmosphere is natural, quiet, agreeable. I even overheard a snobbish fan of the“in” talking loudly of classic and conventional plays and looking down to an enthusiastic crowd of“off”. I feared that this kind of remarks, during a pretty excited Saturday evening on the main crowded place of Avignon, could have led to a bloody riot. No, the snob was left alone with his opinion, superbly ignored. What a good example of tolerance! Not quite common, indeed.
JM
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Comment number 6.
At 22nd Aug 2011, Evoluta wrote:Hi Neil!
Almost a week has passed since my birthday. I will remember it for many years and I tell you why) My birthday party was held on the OFSPRING concert! They are having Europe tour now and that was their first concert from the list - the concert in Prague.
It was a real surprise when we found out that the date of their presentation in Prague coincides with my birthday and our visit to this city. So this event immediately became the top of the list.
In our life there are no so many opportunities to see live legends) And that was really cool. We live in Southern Siberian in Russia and u can hardly find any legends around)) So we had a chance and it was a must.
This vivid show was held in Promyslovy Palac. It started at 19 30 but the legends appeared on the scene only at 22 00. During all this time while we were waiting them local bands warmed up the fans.
All show took place indoors and it was extremely hot and stuffy. That was very uncomfortable. But even this fact couldn't prevent us and other people from the wish to listen to hypnotic music.
Finally they appeared and people became crazy and very active) Jumping on their places, waving hands and legs in chaotic sides and singing favorite songs. Lots of cameras in the air. Everybody wanted to catch the historic moment and save it forward. And I can understand them)
Offsring have sung all their famous hits , it was about an hour and after the last song they unexpectedely left the scene and show ended) We didn't even get that it was the end)
It was Prague, Offspring, my 25th birthday and that was cool!
WBW, Evoluta.
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