Thanks and goodbye, Nick
Hi Nick,
First of all, thanks and well done for doing your articles 'homework'. You have improved the sentence greatly by following some of the rules I directed you towards.
Originally, you wrote:
...if examined closely nuclear power plant seems to even tighten embrace of our "big brother" (that's how is Russia sometimes called in Belarus). Why? Simple: we get workforce to build and support power plant, money to build it and nuclear fuel from Russia...
And this is what you changed it to:
WHEN examined closely, A nuclear power plant MAY WELL MAKE THE embrace of our "big brother" (that's HOW WE CALL Russia sometimes HERE in Belarus) EVEN TIGHTER. Why? THAT IS Simple: we get A workforce to build and support THE power plant, THE money to build it and A nuclear fuel from Russia...
It's a vast improvement. The only article mistake now is 'A nuclear fuel from Russia'. As the noun 'fuel' is uncountable, you can't use an article in front of it. However, I think you've done very well to make such an improvement.
I really enjoyed reading your blogs on healthcare and internet privacy. They are interesting subjects in themselves but you also present them in a very engaging way. I think that this is your great strength as a writer in English. Here is an example of what I mean from your piece on healthcare:
Well, thoughts like these were running through my head the last week, while I was laying in my bed with a terrible cold, with my plans and schedule ruined. The situation also had a silver lining: I got a chance to slow things down a bit and think about health and healthcare.
By personalising your writing, you bring it to life. We can imagine you lying there sick thinking about the subject and so it becomes more 'real' rather than abstract.
This is how you started you blog on internet privacy:
I have to confess: I am a paranoiac. Not in a severe way, but still: I always try to clean up my internet traces, not to publish sensitive information (photos, addresses, telephone numbers) on the Net and keep my privacy as private as possible.
Right from the first line, I was interested. Why is he paranoid? What is he worried about? I'd better read more to find out... I recommend this writing technique to anyone who wants to make their prose more interesting. I also really like the way you divide your writing up with subheadings. This makes them easier to read and also gives a nice little summary of what you are about to write. Anything to help the reader is to be encouraged!
Before I say goodbye and good luck with your English, just a couple of pieces of advice:
Sometimes it seems like you've reached for a bilingual dictionary when you want a trranslation. This can be very helpful, of course, but beware that direct translation doesn't always work, or can provide you with words which wouldn't really be used by native English speakers. Try to use an all-English learner's dictionary. They are often better at providing more natural vocabulary.
Thanks for writing the blog this month, Nick. See you!
Vocabulary:
Vast improvement - a very big improvement.
Abstract - about ideas rather than real things.
Paranoid - when you wrongly think other people don't like you or are planning to do you harm.
Prose - written language that is not poetry.
Comment number 1.
At 2nd May 2012, Nickky wrote:Thanks, Neil! For your critics and approval! I really value your feedback!
Could you please also share just a few examples of "not really good" usage of my phrases taken from bilingual dictionary? just for me to take notes and mind that.
Best, my pleasure!
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